Tag Archives: holiday

Something’s Fishy……….

Caregivers, Humor, Medicare, Multiple Sclerosis, , , , , ,

Two years ago, my brother-in-law’s son purchased a fish tank as a gift for his Dad. My BIL had built a very elaborate fish tank in the home he had long ago shared with my sister. He really loved that fish tank. I do believe it gave him hours of joy. But when he moved and as he became wheelchair bound with Multiple Sclerosis, a fish tank was out of the question. It was just not feasible for him to take care of it the way he would like to, or be able to buy the fish he wanted.

Fishtank fish just don’t live very long. And my BIL likes to buy a variety of fish and tank creatures to populate the roost. So it would have been more of a burden than a joy.

But this gift from his son truly came from the right place. He knew how much his Dad would love this treat. What he didn’t know was how in God’s name any one was going to take care of it.

This is where I turn into the caregiver from hell. This is where caregivers do things they regret, but not really.

I took the young buck aside and said, “I know you live more than an hour away, but you have to be responsible to take care of this. I cannot take on a fish tank. It’s like a puppy to me. I just can’t put one more thing on my plate.”

He just looked at me and nodded, telling me not to worry,

sushi-190565_1280Really? Not worry? This made me so nuts, that all I could think of was, this may turn into a sushi buffet for my BIL, because I am NOT taking care of these damn fish.

The son came pretty regularly for about a year. The following year, my brother-in-law was and has been in and out of rehab and the hospital for almost the entire  year. Those fish were on their own. Again, or so I thought.

But the one thing I didn’t consider or count on was that my BIL’s caregivers, those blessed women and occasional man who come to get him ready for the day and tuck him in sweetly at night were angel(fish) in disguise.

angelfish-24669_1280angel-8186_1280

Every once in a while, over the months, I would get a text from one of the caregivers that I should not worry as they were taking care of the fish. Like I was worrying. Things that float are things that flush as far as I’m concerned. I know this is not animal PC, but I just could not and cannot go a half hour or an hour in a different direction every day to check out a gold fish.

So again, the caregivers who are in the building every day for other patients, not my BIL, take a minute to feed, clean and funeral direct, if necessary.

I am really, really grateful. Not in the ,”wow, I should take care of the fish, ’cause it makes him happy” kind of grateful. More the “I’m hopeful that he will know, he’s got good people in his world and sometimes it ain’t me …….” kind of grateful.

“You Just have to Laugh………..”

©2015 Cathy Sikorski

Learning Curve

Humor, ,

If you read the post below this “A Holiday for Who??”….(or want to read it first, THEN come back here)

So not an hour after I finished my last post, I started wrapping SCORES of gifts and realized I would save my back, my shoulders and my sanity if I got the card table downstairs, instead of sitting on the floor pretending I’m a 10 year-old.

I actually tell myself, you should put shoes on….you KNOW what just happened…but I’m wiser now…I see the table neatly tucked in the corner, go confidently over there and smash the same foot on the same brick that I MOVED there so I wouldn’t do it again in front of the freezer.

Yup…really did that.

You just have to laugh……

 

 

 

 

 

 

A holiday for who????

Caregivers, Humor, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , ,

In a sense, we mothers, never stop caregiving. And when you’re kids come home for Christmas from college and their ‘real lives’, you sort of begin all over again.  Which of course, we LOVE, right?

But then you can’t find your favorite pj’s or slippers. Or you are under constant demand to mate the sox that you let pile up in the ever-growing ‘volcano of  unmatched socks’ because your little darlings could only bring home so much stuff, and you haven’t replenished the unforgivable pile of stuff until Christmas  day. So c’mon, Mom get it together, we’re home now and you love us.

And I do, I really, really do like  you…so much so that Dad already knows he’s been relegated to the back seat of ‘attention’ and accepts his fate as driver, drink provider (now that all are over 21..YAY) and default errand runner for all things Christmas.

What turns us caregivers into “I-DON’T-CARE” givers? About ourselves, I mean. At the drop of a semester, and a holiday, we ramp up our to-do lists, our need to make magic for everyone, and our total and complete exhaustion all in the name of creating, “it’s a wonderful life”. If only George Bailey would have gone for a massage and a facial, had his nails done (including a peppermint pedi) and THEN came home and said:

“You know what,  you’re right. Life is pretty terrific with me in it! I feel refreshed, relaxed and well-groomed. Let’s eat!”

But noooo. Like George, we caregivers choose to take the hard road. Like today when my daughter asked for chicken. And like an idiot, in the middle of making bacon for my other daughter, I ran to the basement in my bare feet (cause’ chicken daughter absconded with my slippers when hers broke in the middle of the night), zoomed over to the freezer all the while, keeping a mental timer on that bacon so it didn’t get too crispy, didn’t bother to turn the light on, cause I KNOW where the freezer is in my basement, and promptly smashed my toes, likely breaking at least two of them, into a brick that was left lying in front of the freezer.

Yay caregivers the world over! Yay Christmas! Damn you George Bailey, you just couldn’t take care of yourself for once and be a lesson to us all?

Merry Christmas, caregivers…..cause

You just have to Laugh………………….

Cathy Sikorski