Let’s Get It On…In a Socially Responsible Way.

Humor

What a great time to get back to blogging! What an even better time to get back to blogging at “You Just have to Laugh…..”

It has come to my attention that many of us are spending unprecedented amounts of time with our significant others, our partners, our spouses, our boyfriends, girlfriends and whomever else we may be trapped with in our abodes.

This seems daunting. I mean, sure we love them, you know, enough. But do we really have to spend ALL this time together? This is where it is getting tricky, six days in. The old saying, “for better or for worse, but not for lunch,”  has more depth than I realized.

I know what you’re thinking. We are all thinking the same thing. GO AWAY! Even introverts are horrified that those pesky extroverts want to keep talking, and talking and talking.

I have two solutions, neither of which I have implemented just yet. So let’s just say this is a social experiment we can all try and share our data.

First, I think we should start dating again. Yep, right here in our own homes. Let’s get our the silver and ‘good china’ and a tablecloth! Let’s have wine (lots of wine, in fact, order more online because in Pennsylvania where I live, the liquor stores are closed indefinitely) in gorgeous crystal glasses. Light the tapers in your grandmother’s candlesticks.  Your kids are going to throw them out eventually anyway. Make amazing dinners. Put on romantic music. And yes, take a shower and get dressed up. Please take a shower, no really. Both of you put on nice clothes. Talk only about your future, what you’d like to do, where you’d like to go. Make it weekly or twice a week.

Create fun dates: games (yes, even those kinds of games), romantic moonlight walks holding hands. Give each other a manicure or pedicure. Go to the movies in your house, but cuddle on the couch. Turn out the lights, share the popcorn. No disaster movies allowed.

Second, GO AWAY. In a socially responsible, socially distancing kind of way.  Go to your own rooms, If you only have one bedroom, let someone BE in the bathroom for two hours if they need to be. You’ve got to get to your separate corners on a regular basis. Don’t be offended if your loved one looks at you with rolling eyes and says the one simple word, “please…..just please.” Translation: Go Away. Go away now. Do not come back until a reasonable amount of time has passed. That is more than 15 minutes.

I welcome all databases on this experiment. Tonight I told my husband fire up the fire pit we are having our own weenie roast and marsmallow roast. This requires camping attire, which I may be wearing as pjs right now, but the cocktail dresses are coming out of the closet soon, very soon.

And never forget today, tomorrow and always: You Just have to Laugh…………

Social Security is NOT CALLING YOU!

Caregivers, , , , ,

Yes, I’m back. I’ve been debating video vs. blog and will be bringing my fun facts and face here very soon. I was tempted to do a video in my pajamas, glasses, uncombed hair and bad lighting for this post…because what I look like is so unimportant compared to this message.

PLEASE, DO NOT RESPOND IN ANYWAY TO A CALL THAT SAYS YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER IS SUSPENDED AND YOU MUST CALL BACK. JUST DON’T DO IT.

My husband and I receive these calls almost weekly at this point. This week I received the call three times in 30 minutes. Even after blocking the number of the first two calls, the same robo-call came in on a different phone number.

I’ve seen warnings everywhere, but of course, this is my field, so I do see posts from AARP, Social Security, Retirement websites….all of whom have tried to get this message out. I am certain I have told my elderly mom to tell her friends this is a scam. Many of my own friends and relatives have called me asking if they should return the call. So it is not common knowledge that this is a scam.

But here’s the kicker. My smart, sweet Mom got the call three times yesterday in 30 minutes and was so certain it had to be legit. She returned the call and when a man answered and said: “Why are you calling?” my mom replied: “I don’t really know.” And the man disconnected. This makes me think that they are running so many scams, they aren’t sure which one you’re calling about so they can pretend to be whoever you are frightened of.

Please, please please pass this information to everyone: young and old, sick and well, informed or uninformed. We’ve got to stop the bleeding of stealing from good people. The only way to accomplish this is to educate and remove the fear of saying: “Nope, I’ll call my friend, daughter, son, accountant, the police before I call you back.” Let’s fight this together.

After I get dressed, I’ll do a video. After all, Halloween is over, don’t want to scare the kids! I love you all, I do! Stay safe.

“You Just have to Laugh………when it’s funny, but get mad when they’re trying to rip you off!!!”

Wanted: Dead or Alive

Humor

Why You Need to Know an Elder Lawyer is not an Estate Lawyer.

When you have a problem with your elderly mom or dad, your friends and acquaintances may readily tell you to seek the advice of an estate attorney.

Whoa Nellie! Since the dawn of complicated nursing home situations, assisted living facilities, at-home care, Medicaid and Alex Trebek giving you midnight advice on life insurance, the landscape of legal advice for the aging population has changed dramatically, but the rumor mill of advice has not yet caught up.

When I speak to audiences, which is what I do most of the time, I like to start with this:

Elder Lawyers are for Live People

Estate Lawyers are for Dead People

Granted, you’re not going to go to a lawyer when you’re dead, but Estate Lawyers are here to help you PLAN for being dead. Their job is to make sure your estate gets distributed, at your death, the way you want it to. From a planning perspective, an Estate Lawyer is there to help you with all aspects of death. That would include wills, trusts, and funerals.

Elder Lawyers are quite a new breed. We have only been around for likely less than 30 years because that is how long it has taken for the federal and state governments to play cat-and-mouse with our money and our lives when it comes to exorbitant costs surrounding caregiving and long-term care health issues. Elder Lawyers are here to guide you through “what happens when I get sick and need help.” That means creating Durable Financial Power of Attorney documents, Health Care Proxy documents, Living Wills, Advanced Directives and Trusts.

Our jobs do cross-over each other. Many Elder Lawyers started out as Estate Lawyers a long time ago. Estate Law has been around since the Magna Carta, so we learned that in law school. But Elder Law, as a new twist on how to keep money and take care of a loved one, has developed only recently.

When you are in the throes of a health care crisis with your mom or dad, spouse or loved one, you don’t really have the time to look at the fine distinctions between Elder Law and Estate Law. And as I mentioned, some lawyers are proficient in both areas of law and can be an extremely good resource.

But this is my caution to you: Right now, every single adult person should visit an Elder Lawyer and go through the process to create a Durable Financial Power of Attorney, a Health Care Proxy, a Living Will and a Will. The reason I stress an Elder Lawyer is that many states have very strict and specific requirements for those Powers of Attorney, that if not reviewed with you and created by an Elder Lawyer, may find you in a crisis situation where you cannot move money around to protect your loved ones, especially if one goes in a nursing home and the other is an at-home spouse.

You may also need an Estate Lawyer if you have a complicated estate. If you own multiple businesses, have trusts from parents or grandparents, need special trusts for disabled or chronically ill children. These issues are for after your demise and that is exactly what an estate lawyer is trained to do.

You may get lucky. In fact, it is much more likely that an Elder Lawyer has done some basic Estate Law and can guide you through simple estate planning. It is always possible that your Elder Law issues are complex but your Estate issues are simple. The reverse could be true as well. You could have very complex Estate issues but not so much in the Elder Law area.

In any event here are four questions you can ask to see if your attorney has a handle on Elder Law issues. I cannot stress enough how critical it is that in the creation of your Powers of Attorney that your lawyer understand how your state will deal with long-term health care issues.

  1. How does my state handle gifting of assets under my Durable Financial Power of Attorney?
  2. How does my state handle changing of Beneficiary Designations by my Agent under a Durable Financial Power of Attorney?
  3. Do your Power of Attorney documents both financial and health, provide for an Alternate by name?
  4. Does your Health Care Power of Attorney/Proxy provide for decisions to be made if I am in a permanent vegetative state?

One more thing, just like the beginning of this article:

Powers of Attorney are for live people

Wills are for Dead People.

The minute your loved one dies, your Power of Attorney dies with them and you no longer have any authority over their money, estate, wishes, etc. That is governed by a will. So again, get the right lawyer to do the best work.

I know this feels like no laughing matter…but there’s plenty to laugh at in other ways, here’s your chuckle for the day, since You Just Have to Laugh….

My Nana always said: “You can spit in one hand and wish in the other…..see which gets filled first!”

The information is for educational purposes only. Seek professional services from
an Elder Law Attorney in your state.

Sometimes the Gods are Kind to you….

Humor

I am in the midst of many presentations in a these two weeks and it’s not that I don’t have a lot to talk about with you, I certainly do! I learned a few things from my audience the other day that I’m checking out for my next blog post. But I woke up to this in my email this morning….a blog just waiting for me to post done by someone else. Life is really kind sometimes. If you’re my pal on Facebook, you may have seen it there, but if not or you’re one of the wiser ones and stays off of Facebook here’s the tip of the day from Joanne Giardini-Russell, the Medicare Guru. Call her if you have questions. She gives you her phone number and it’s free to talk to her. ANY MEDICARE questions ANY TIME. Call her. She is fantastic!

The Link is BELOW!! WATCH IT!

https://share.vidyard.com/watch/1cUhDZsxnGG8KS2JZGT2po?

Do you have a Conscience?

Humor, ,

My conscience is my baby brother. He lives in California, land of the conscience shamers. He has embraced this mission. So much so that he lives in a place called The Mission. Subtle but effective, which he always is. He never says to you, “you’re doing it wrong.” If he did you’d say, “what am I doing wrong?” and then he would have to sigh and just say, “everything.”

He wouldn’t be my conscience if I didn’t believe him. There in lies the problem. When you do have a conscience, it’s those things that challenge it that make you know it’s real.

Yes, Earth Day made me do this. All the posts on social media about what a terrible person I am for plastic bottles, toothbrushes, cups. I agree. This is terrible. We all have to work harder to be better. Not for us for our grandchildren. Now that I have one, I have two consciences. Ugh.

Why do I hate all my consciences? Because they make me try to be better. And that’s a bad thing? Because better always means harder. But is that really true? Is better harder?

Is it harder to say ‘no thank you,’ to a straw? Is it harder to drink from your own water bottle? Is it harder to use cloth napkins? Is it really, really harder to recycle when they come to your actual house to pick up the stuff in three different bins? All those conscience people are making it easier and easier every day for us to be better.

I promised you a bit of learning every blog. So here we go a few tips from this great article by Lani Seelinger:

  1. Wash your clothes in cold water. Lani recommends this but so does my friend, Terri who turned me on to this just a year ago. It’s fine. Your clothes are clean.
  2. Use those water bottles and hot travel mugs you have cluttering your house. I know you have 32 of them from every conference, 5K walk, and charity event you ever went to. They fall out of my cabinet and on to my head all the time. And as an added bonus here, recycle the ones with no lids!
  3. Buy LOCAL produce, and anything else. But as spring turns to summer get to those farmer’s markets. Or, and this is why it isn’t hard, my big chain grocery store has a ‘local produce’ aisle. But that stuff.
  4. Use your reusable bags. The magic is putting them in the car, isn’t it? Heres’an idea: Put a dozen in the car. Take six into the store. When you take those six full bags into your house and forget to take them back out to the car, you still have six bags in there. Then when you get home the next time, twelve bags in your house are really gonna’ piss you off, so you’ll probably put them back in the car.
  5. Use that revolving door! Isn’t this nuts? But if you do, it keeps cold air in or out depending on the season and actually makes a difference. Now you know why they want you to have fun twirling around and around. Tell the truth, you’re a twirler, and you miss it.

Here’s the full article:
https://www.bustle.com/articles/196245-21-little-things-you-can-do-to-help-the-environment-that-are-super-easy-will

Let your conscience be your guide. Or I can give you my brother’s phone number so he can sigh at you, too.

I’m Back! And Now…the “Road to Medicare…”

Humor, , , , ,

I know it’s been a long time in coming. Most of you follow me on Facebook, so we haven’t truly been out of touch. But, wow! My life has been an amazing roller coaster of wonderfulness since Christmas. Yes, my last blog was about re-entering the Caregiving world. Truth be told, I was not happy about that. And it wasn’t even that dramatic. Well, it was for my husband, who had a serious leg injury, but for me it was “vanilla-caregiving-101.”

Since then, I’ve spent almost two months with my daughter welcoming our new grandchild and then a hasty return to presentations, TV appearances, having a caregiving script-in-hand read by professional actors, and working on getting more gigs to tell the world to get #prepared for the tsunami of caregiving!

I have neglected this blogosphere and I return renewed. I was truly thinking about what best serves my readers. And to look at my most well-received posts, I would say you guys love to laugh……….but even more, you love to be informed. So, like Bob Hope and Bing Crosby, our journey is going to be those “Road to…………” movies where we can have a laugh or two, but I’m going to teach you what I learn about all this aging, caregiving. long-term health care, Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, nursing home, Elder law, estate issues blather as best I can.

Today…….the “Road to Medicare!” This could be 327 posts or more. In fact, it’s so chock-full of road blocks, potholes, orange cones, warning lights and yes, even smooth paving that we could have a blog about only this.

Lo and behold, I know someone who does that! And in my inbox this morning, she sent me three myths of Medicare. I had already decided to talk to you about our Medicare experience after dinner with friends last night when everyone was chiming in about signing up…and there in my inbox was Universe confirmation that yup, we need to talk about this.

My husband will turn 65 soon, and since I try to take my own advice, we called the Medicare Guru and asked her to guide us a bit. We are fortunate to have retirees’ insurance, and since I won’t turn age 65 for AGES (um hmmmm, had to say that), we knew this could be shark-infested waters. If we made a mistake in the sign-up process we could suffer some real financial consequences. The Guru gave us sage advice and the following week my hubby went online to sign up for Medicare.

Five minutes into a seven-minute process I hear, “Cathy!” Uh-oh. I run to the office to see consternation all over my husband’s face. There’s a trick question. Are you covered by your employers’ health care plan? Yes, we are, sort of. No box for that answer. I know it means, are you currently employed with health insurance? I know that because, well, because I know that. But lots of people don’t know that. Right next to the trick question on the computer screen is a teeny, tiny button with a question mark in a circle above it that says, “help.”

“Push that button,” I say to my husband. He looks at me like I told him to engage the nuclear codes. But he does it with a rivulet of sweat poring down his forhead. Right there in black and white it says, “this does not mean retiree insurance.” Hmm! Okay then. Up until that moment, my husband would have answered that one question, the only trick question for him, incorrectly. And that could’ve caused some real problems for us in the immediate future. And that is one teeny, tiny problem with signing up for Medicare.

Below are the three myths that the Medicare Guru, Joanne Giardini Russell at Boomer Health Group shared in my email today. You can reach Joanne or her associate Gwynn Sharick-Elberson at 248-871-7756. It’s free to talk to them. They are super nice! Tell them Cathy sent you! You will love them.

Joanne Giardini-Russell

810-599-7116 – mobile

248-871-7756, ext 101 – office

Check out this Video

Check out this video: https://share.vidyard.com/watch/rApnWNNRYtwo3KBSW58Y42?

Caregiving and Christmas

Humor

I miss you all! But it was for wonderful reasons, at first, that I haven’t been here for 2 months. I was speaking in so many great places. The opportunity to speak out about getting prepared, keeping those caregiving demons away as best one can has been the gift of my mid-life life!

And then….here I am again…………..as a caregiver! Just as my tour of duty ended with dozens of speaking engagements in the fall, I took a lovely trip to visit my daughter abroad, and my husband took a terrible trip on the bleachers! Surgery and at least six weeks in a leg brace!

Oh how it comes flooding back, right?

Wait, what? I need to take an extra hour for getting someone else dressed and ready? I have to watch my phone like the Bat Signal might appear in case I get a text from the bedroom? Oh crap, I forgot to give him his phone, and now I’m at the pharmacy getting his meds AND my meds. It’s been three years since I’ve been in these caregiving shoes, and although one never forgets, it sure as hell is like getting back on that rusty, old Shwinn that you never wanted to ride again.

Can you get me some ice for my leg?

So a special thanks and prayer of gratitude to all of you who have supported me here, online, in person, at events, book signings, on Facebook and Twitter. I love you all so much. And all of us are working so hard to make caregiving easier….seems like an oxymoron, doesn’t it? Merry Christmas and the best in 2019. I’ll try better to stay in touch and like I always told my dear, darling mother-in-law, “the phone goes both ways…” Don’t ever be afraid to reach out!

“You Just have to Laugh….and have a Wonderful Holiday Season!

© 2018 Cathy Sikorski

Problems and Some Solutions…Or the Peppermint Twist?

Humor, , , , , ,

Did you know that two of the biggest problems in Independent and Assisted Living are STD’s and drinking?  Here are two articles, one from AARP and one from the New York Times.

STD Rates Keep Rising for Older Adults

New Old Age: Drinkers in Assisted Living

It appears as if we DO have something to look forward to in our old age. Returning to dorm life hasn’t changed a bit since I was listening to “Benny and the Jets” while drinking peppermint schnapps and waiting to sneak my boyfriend up the back stairs of DeChantal Hall.

Even Dorothy knew this was coming……….and I don’t mean the Wizard of Oz………..

I have no solutions to these problems, but now that I have your attention, I just want you to know that we will be discussing lots of problems AND SOLUTIONS at this great Caregivers Conference in Philly on November 3rd.  And there will be two Keynote Speakers in charge of the laughs. Yes, I’m one of them. Dr. Ruth was busy that day.

Come to the conference. It’s only $25 for a ticket and that includes breakfast and lunch…in PHILLY? Do you think you can get breakfast and lunch for 25 bucks anywhere in Philly? Ask Rachael Ray, she’ll tell you, that’s a deal. And SO MUCH GREAT INFO, and meeting great people.

See you there! I might have a bottle of peppermint schnapps in my conference tote. Meet me in the little girls’ room. After my Keynote, I am a professional.

“You Just Have to Laugh… and get to the Conference!

Here’s the link for tickets: https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/3601596

©2018 Cathy Sikorski

 

Yay! It’s Open Enrollment……….or is it?!?

Humor, , , , , , , ,

Today is a guest post from a Medicare Guru, Joanne Giardini-Russell, who I was lucky enough to find. I was going to paraphrase, but nope, read the whole thing. Such huge and I mean HUGE mistakes are made when it’s time to sign up for Medicare. So yes, YOU DO NEED HELP. This is the reason why:

Medicare – 5 Tips for the Season

It’s that annual time of year! The ads come out, your neighbors, siblings and friends starting buzzing and asking “what plan do you have? Why do you pay anything – I pay nothing and love my plan… You should have…” Right?

Can I interrupt the fanfare for a few minutes? My company helps people make good Medicare decisions. That’s all we do. 100% Medicare. So, we watch you all making the same mistakes just about every hour on the hour!

This short article will point out a few of the most common problems that we see:
• That friend that pays nothing and tells you that you’re overpaying? They most likely
have an HMO style Medicare Advantage plan. They likely don’t know that if they step
out of their network, they may have zero coverage. If they have chemo or radiation
enter their world? They’ll pay 20% of a large number. If they need 18 sessions of PT?
They’ll pay $30 each time. If they want to go to Mayo Clinic? They can’t. Moral of the
story? Don’t listen to your friends.

• When agents and insurance companies tell you annually “you can change your plan next year if you don’t like this one”. Whoa, not so fast. Some people can, some people can’t.
There are two types of products to supplement your Medicare coverage. There is
Medigap and Medicare Advantage. Most people that learn about the two usually want
Medigap. But, there’s a catch – you have to medically qualify for the product at times.
SO, if you can pass the health underwriting in the year after “you don’t like your plan”
than, yes – welcome aboard the Medigap train!

• Pre-existing conditions. They DO exist after you turn age 65 and hit Medicare eligibility! We’re so ingrained with group insurance and generally no pre-existing condition worries but they DO reappear with Medicare. This relates to Medigap coverage. Here’s the
rule: When you are NEW to Medicare’s Part B (and I don’t care if you are starting Part B
at age 65, age 72, age 75, etc. – the important part is that you are starting it), you have a
six-month window of opportunity to purchase a Medigap contract with no health
questions asked of you. So, when you and I are speaking, and you tell me that you have
MS and get infusions that cost $30,000 twice a year and you are starting Medicare? We
are going to have a serious conversation and I’m doing everything in my power to steer
you to a Medigap contract.

• A giant hole in Medicare-Land: People not being introduced to nor understanding the
basic premise that “there are two products to pick from to become your supplement”.
The world tends to focus on Medicare Advantage (think corporate profits or agent
commission might have something to do with this? Yes, sarcasm injected). You need to
understand what you are buying and the limitations of your product if there are any.
Make an informed decision.

• If you buy a Medigap contract, you can go to any doctor or hospital in the country that you choose. As long as they take Medicare (the majority do), you may go. We find that
at age 65, most people want choice and control over their healthcare. With Medicare
Advantage you will have networks and restrictions.

So, those are some of the problems that we see over and over again. There are dozens of other issues (prescriptions, Cobra, Obamacare, etc.) but if you know these 5 things, you’ve become a Medicare genius amongst your friends and family.
We’ve designed our firm to help you navigate Medicare issues almost in the way that I raised my children. Not to insult anyone’s intelligence, but we assist you as if you were 5 years old.

Meaning we lay out the steps rather simply.

Example. You call for advice and the response is “please go get Part A and B of Medicare and come back to me and I’ll help with your product”. That is Greek to you, generally. Online? In person? Where? What do I need? Boomer Health Group will instead send you a video tutorial with the forms that you need to fill out. You’ll get guidance as to step A, then B, then C. You finish step A? Come back for step B. We’re not the folks assaulting your phone and mailbox with Medicare solicitations.
Best of luck navigating the season! We’re here to help as needed.
Boomer Health Group
248-871-7756

And a special thanks to Joanne at Boomer Health Group. Call her. Really.

“You Just Have to Laugh…..and get Prepared….”

 

 

Today’s Reminder: Aging will Rock You Like A Hurricane

Humor, , , , , , , , , ,

My husband has had The Weather Channel on all morning. We don’t live anywhere near hurricane Florence, but we are compelled to watch. It made me wonder if I had a channel called the Storm of Aging, if people would watch it like a train wreck.

I’m pretty sure no one would watch that channel, or the new Netflix series: Get Prepared for Hurricane Caregiver. Or even the HBO event: The Devastating Typhoon of Long-Term Care.

I know, this ain’t sexy. It’s not exciting, but it sure can be as calamitous.

We’ve all seen on those made-for-TV-movies when the heroine is sure to die from the rare disease that she contracted in the Amazon jungle while trying to save a previously, unknown Pygymy tribe that she will now “get her affairs in order!” Miraculously, a suited-up lawyer appears in the jungle with a notary to take care of the paperwork.

Don’t be the jungle heroine. If she had lived, she would still need paperwork done.  She would need a Financial Power of Attorney, a Health Care Power of Attorney, a Living Will, a Will and even maybe she should’ve considered a trust for all those royalties from her incredible tale.

People prepare for retirement. People prepare for death. But they do not prepare for the “Typhoon In Between.” Long-term care costs and the wrong preparation can and does leave people (especially women) destitute. Don’t let that be you.

See an Elder Lawyer, not an Estate Lawyer (although, if they are both an Elder and Estate Lawyer that’s a win-win).  We are nice people. Ask this one question:  “What do you know about Medicaid Planning and Long-Term care spending from my assets?”

GET PREPARED. That’s what I’ve been seeing all week from Jim Cantore and The Weather Channel.  And that’s a great message for everyone.

“You Just Have to Laugh….and Get Prepared…..”

©2018 Cathy Sikorski