So if I made you sad, I’m here to make amends.
The other day I went to the gym to workout. I haven’t been going as much as I was, due to being at the hospital and funerals and what not, so I took myself to the gym for a good old-fashioned sweaty workout.
Laundry had also gone by the wayside. But I was feeling quite proud of myself as I had managed to get two or three loads of laundry squeezed in, mostly because my husband needed T-shirts and I needed gym clothes. Yes, you caught me. I wear gym clothes even when I’m not going to the gym. Sweats are the greatest invention for the stay-at-home anything. But I was going to put those sweats to their real use!
So this fine morning, I drink more coffee than I should to get motivated and I put on my freshly washed gym clothes and off to the YMCA I go. I am pumped. Well not yet, but I’m gonna’ be!
As I place my purse and jacket in my locker, I realize the coffee has made other demands. Darn, I have to go to the bathroom. UGH. I don’t have time for this, I have to workout. But as all middle-aged women know, when the bladder calls, it must be obeyed.
I begin my rush to the stalls, knowing this inconvenience will take precious minutes from my time on the elliptical. As I take the corner, I feel a weird sensation in my pants and at my feet.
“Oh, no” I think, “now I am incontinent”. “Really? I can’t be, I just took care of two other incontinents. I buy Men’s Depends for L. I really am not ready for this. Say it isn’t so, Lord!”
Weirdly, though, I don’t feel wet. I ever so slowly look down at my foot where I had the odd sensation, and there next to my shoe is a really cute and sexy pair of black silk panties…..that fell out of my workout pants.
So my first thought is, “Yay, no Depends for me….yet!”
And my next thought is, “Thank God that didn’t happen on the elliptical machine. Everyone in the gym would have thought I was truly working my ass off!” Or sending some other message that I dare not even think about.
I shove my black silk panties into my purse and hope I don’t take them out as I’m looking for my wallet when I go for coffee after my workout. Yup that’s EXACTLY what I do.
The good news is, you can blame grief on just about any crazy ass thing you do for at least one year. Yay me, I can be an idiot AND SEXY and no one will blame me.
You just have to laugh…….
Cathy Sikorski
Wow so funny
I assume you didn’t pay with your panties. Sorry, you left yourself wide open. Funny things happen in the washing machine. We all have stories of washing cell phones, money, ID badges, ink pens, crayons, jewelry, peanut butter crackers, etc., etc. But my best washing machine story goes back to my college days when I had a party at my parents’ house despite being forbidden to do so. They were away of course. Fraternity brothers brought more “friends” than were invited, and you know how the saga unfolded. The house was a horrendous mess afterward and smelled like a brewery!! Fortunately, nothing was broken, but it took me forever to clean up with a horrible hangover. I eliminated all “party” evidence, even to the point of putting the trash in a neighbor’s cans halfway down the block. Neighbors must have thought they were alcoholics! Mom and Dad arrived home that night, and I was all proud of myself that I had pulled it off … until the next morning when Mom went to do laundry and very irritated called me downstairs and pointed in the washing machine asking WTH were beer bottles doing in there?? Some idiot had put his bottles on ice. I surmised he hadn’t learned to share. I think they were Heinekens if I remember correctly. Had I known during the party, I would have insisted he share with the host. We laughed in later years, but it wasn’t funny at the time! I can still picture my Mom’s face.