Tips from the MOB…………..

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So we are down to about 10 days until my daughter’s wedding.

Dieting to stay in just the right shape may kill us all. My husband couldn’t help himself, he just had to go get a WAWA hoagie. He had his first good night’s sleep in 2 weeks.

We aren’t starving, we have plenty of good, healthy, clean food to eat. We’re just bored to tears. And now that the bride has moved in with us for the last two weeks, it’s like living with the Warden. We have to be supportive of her healthy lifestyle…..or we’re put on hard labor, which we have to do anyway by going to the gym every day.

This is my piece. What are you having?
This is my piece. What are you having?

But man, I think that wedding might find quite a few people hiding in corners, the ladies room, and the cloak room, not having illicit sex, but illicit cake!

And although most of the womenfolk seem to have gotten their foundations under control, there are still a few debates about last minute things like strapless bras, pantyhose or no pantyhose and when to change from high heels to flip flops.

In the interest of giving Mother-of-the-Bride tips to MOBs and FOB :

Bra

Tip Number One: If you need to have a low back bra buy one of these. But here’s the trick.

Undo the top 2 or 3 hooks and fold them under. No one can see it and you still have the support you need. And for those guys out there who think this tip is not for you. Au contraire…You need to practice hooking and unhooking, especially if  you plan to drink, a lot. You must become deft at this while swaying back and forth, otherwise your femme fatale may suffer shortness of breath, crushed inner organs and rib damage. When she says, “Get it off!” that’s what she means. FYI. Then, you both can enjoy your drunken stupor.

Tip Number Two: If you are struggling with whether or not to wear pantyhose, buy these.

PantyhoseI have no idea if these pantyhose are magical, but at $49.00 a pair, when the average pair of really good pantyhose can be under $10.00, well it must be because you will look like this under your dress. And since you, and only you, will know how bangin’ you’re looking, well that confidence boost is totally worth $49 on your daughter’s wedding day.

MOB Shoes

Tip Number Three: Stilettos. These are my actual shoes. I’m the shortest one in my family now. My daughters have surpassed me long ago. So in order to look like I belong to these tall people in pictures that last forever, I bought these escalators. I love them. They’re sparkly. They make me tall. They seem comfortable for the five minutes I’ve worn them to have my dress hemmed. And I am absolutely positive that after one dance, I’m going to be screaming for mercy. So pack the flip-flops, gals. Balancing on a sugar high, an alcohol wave, a tsunami of emotions, and three inch heels, I figure I’ll need to drop it low as soon as possible. In my shoes, I mean, in my shoes. Bring the flip-flops, you really won’t regret it.

Tip Number Four: When you finally realize that the only thing you are there to do is support your beautiful daughter and her wonderful groom on their special day, so you might as well let your hair down (literally, if you need to), just have fun. And know that nobody is actually looking at you anyway, they are having their own private battles with their undergarments and crazy ass shoes.

So for the first time in three years of blogging, I’m taking a week off to enjoy my daughter’s wedding…..see you in two weeks.  And please don’t ever forget…………….

“You Just Have to Laugh…..”

©2016 Cathy Sikorski

0 thoughts on “Tips from the MOB…………..”

  2. I have to laugh at this!!!!! LOL!!! you have at your daughter wedding. (smiles!!!!!!)

  3. Can’t get enough of th MOB thrilling escapades….a book??? Living for two weeks with the warden sounds really difficult. Remember …you’re not only gaining a uson, you’re losing a daughter.

    1. HaHa Karen, I’ve come to the conclusion that in today’s world….we just gain more children!!! And yay for that. You’re turn as a MOG is coming soon!

  4. Oh Cathy ………..,. You just make me laugh so much. It will be a wonderful day because we will all JUST LUAGH. MOG.

  7. Cathy and Rachel,
    You both are gorgeous and beautifully in shape! It is going to be a beautiful day and eve!! Never knew a family party of yours that was not terrific. Nothing to worry about and know one else really knows what is supposed to occur!
    I on the other hand, can’t come, because I ate everything you guys didn’t. I have nothing to wear…someone might notice that lady in a moo moo…… Still will never take away from your beauty! Thrilled for you! Love Beth Ann

  8. Cathy, have a magnificent time!! LEt me know how all the “support” worked out for you! Will be utilizing this advice in the near future!! Congratulations and the best of wishes for a happy, healthy and fun wedding day and married life to Rachel and her husband to be!!
    Love to all!

  9. Have a great day and tell your daughter hi from her pal in Ireland. Have patience enjoy and hope the heels don’t kill you

    1. Oh Roberta, Rachel and I are reading your comment now! She sends her love. We are very excited and happy and will gladly accept the blisters for all the fun we’re going to have! Thanks for reading and commenting!

  10. Love this, Cathy! You know I am just steps behind you … but those shoes? Gorgeous, yes, but I would either fall or get a blister in a matter of minutes. Maybe this is why I haven’t started shopping for shoes yet — my feet are balking.