I am the caregiver for my surrogate brother-in-law, my friend who fell down a flight of stairs and has brain damage, and until she passed away in March, my blessed mother-in-law who was almost 97 years old. O yeah, and on occasion my husband’s adorable Aunt from Australia who goes back and forth between our house and other wonderful, caring relatives.

I have been caregiving for a very long time for various loved (and unloved) ones and ultimately turned my part-time law practice into Elder Care only so that I could help those with all that I have learned….mostly outside of the law, if you can believe it.

But I find the art and act of caregiving hard and hilarious. You just have to keep your sense of humor to keep going back day after day. I have a million stories as do all the other caregivers in this world, And hopefully, we can all help one another with information and an occasional laugh.

So today I have to take my brother-in-law( hereinafter referred to as “L” )to the doctor. Actually, I will just make sure he gets on the transport safely and then drive to the doctor and meet them there. He has MS and no use of his legs. This endeavor requires a lot of planning, phone calls, referrals and big huge posted notes on L’s TV stand because he often forgets what’s happening that day. It has to be between lunch and dinner or he misses his meal in the dining room. And, although we joke that he could STAND to miss a meal, he gets very cranky if he does. So three days before the appointment, with everything in place, I get a call from the Doctor’s office :

“Hello, this is the Doctor’s office, call us back immediately”

Oh crap, I think, they are going to cancel and that is a nightmare to unscheduled and RE-schedule everything. I’ll try and call back ASAP between my job, my own appointments and just general living.

“Hello?” I say, this is Cathy returning your call about L”.

“Why are you calling?” says the Doctor’s office.

“Because you told me to”.

“Oh, ok wait just a minute please.”

Holding, holding, holding, holding…I could have cleaned my entire kitchen by now.

“Oh yes, well was he here last week?”

“No”, I say, “he is coming in on Thursday”.

“Well, it’s been THREE OR FOUR MONTHS AND HE MUST SEE THE DOCTOR EVERY THREE OR FOUR MONTHS!” ,she says to me very briskly.

“Ummm, ok? Well, like I just told you, he will BE THERE ON THURSDAY!”

“O, Ok, thank you”. She says and hangs up.

Really? You didn’t see that on your computer? You had to take precious time out of my day to yell at me and then just say ok???? Really, before you called me you couldn’t check to see if he had an appointment in THREE DAYS?????/

Please for crying out loud SOMEBODY, just do your job.