I attended an Elder Law Conference recently and as usual, my head is spinning. Lots to tell you, because not one of you is getting younger.
But the big takeaway was a talk by a dementia expert, Teepa Snow, on how we are truly failing those with this disease. It’s not them who’s the problem…it’s us. We are so hellbent on proving we know what’s best for our loved ones, that we have done nothing to understand what it feels like to be them.
I was invited to do a Virtual Reality tour of what it’s like to have dementia. Unfortunately, I couldn’t go that day. But those who did said it was unbelievable. And enlightening. They quickly learned what it’s like to have someone in your face, someone yelling at you for no apparent reason, someone repeating to you when you believe you answered their question. I cannot stress enough how we need to take a good, hard look at what we, the caregivers, the health care workers, the families are doing. Ms. Snow told us there are 110 different kinds of dementia. 110. There can’t be a common answer to treatment for every single form. And locking every body up is not the answer. It is certainly not the quality of life answer for everyone.
I’m not naive. I realize that dementia has a big component of safety issues. Just spending 90 minutes with Ms. Snow, who has hours and hours of material, convinced me that as a public policy we need to re-think the concept of dementia care.
Her website is at teepsnow.com, and it’s called Positive Approach to Brain Change. If you have any family members at all who are suffering from any effects of dementia, please check out her website and her videos. They are remarkable and could be game-changing for your life right now.
And if any of you wonderful readers did not hear by now….I WON the contest to be the Keynote Speaker at the National Caregiver’s Conference. AND GUESS WHO THE SPEAKER IS RIGHT AFTER ME???? TEEPA SNOW! How great is that? I’m so excited to be meeting her once again after my Elder Law conference. Life is full of wonderful treats sometimes, isn’t it?
Since you read this far with no chuckles, I’m going to give you 3 Elder Law Knock Knock Jokes I found on the internet:
Knock Knock……….Who’s There? Little Old Lady………Little Old Lady Who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!
Knock Knock…..Who’s there? To………….To Who?
To WHOM!
Knock Knock….Who’s there? Nana………….Nana Who?
Nanna You’re Business
I’m pretty sure you could use those jokes somewhere today!
“You Just have to Laugh……”
©Cathy Sikorski 2017
My father passed away in February of pneumonia, after suffering over 12 years with a “rare” form of dementia, aged 76. My mum was his carer up until the last 2 years of his life when he had to move to a nursing home that specialised in giving him 24/7 care. My mum is only tiny & my dad was very strong & well built so when he started being incontinent and my mum had to try and clean him up & give him showers/baths he was too heavy for her to move and in the end he didn’t understand what she was trying to do so bath time was always a bit of a fiasco. Luckily enough he moved only around the corner to his original home so my mum spent every day visiting him. He was always smiling though. It is such a difficult condition to treat as the symptoms are varied, they gradually get worse but they regress at different paces.
Somehow this comment went to my trash. I know it was quite some time ago that you commented, Linda. but I wanted to say how sorry I am that I didn’t get back to you. This caregiving is so hard. I commend your mum for her devotion to your dad. This is when we learn what real love is, isn’t it? Our elders are still leading us by example. My best to you and thanks for your comment.
Huge congrats to you, Cathy. I do adore a good solid gig! Such good content here and so remarkably timely. I honestly don’t think I know a family who hasn’t been touched and/or ravaged by dementia in the family. My mother and aunts suffered from it. It seems to be to be the longest good bye. Cruel to the end, to everyone. Care giving in this kind of environment is difficult at best. Love, patience and support offered make all the difference. Thanks for the latter.
Thanks for your support, Tammy. Dementia is still kind of the secret in the closet as there is so much to learn. We need to realize that there are many tools to deal with it and not fall into “one-size=fits-all.” That seems to help no one. Thanks, again.
110 kinds of dementia. Wow. I did not know of any relatives with dementia, but my Mom developed one type, and two of my brothers died with dementia. 3 different types of dementia in my immediate family. I’m paying attention.
Right?! 110. See, it’s there but we are so grossly uninformed. Thanks for confirming that it can be so many different things!
Congratulations on nailing the keynote speech, Cathy! And what a great bonus you are on the stage with someone you just heard speak and admire. Such an important topic.
Yes, it’s going to be quite a wonderful couple of days!
Congratulations on the win!!!!
Thanks so much!
Oh, WOW! Congratulations! And thank you for this article. Dealt with is when my Mom suffered. I’d love to experience that exercise. Something all of us needs . . .
Yes, Diane. I hope to have the opportunity again myself. I hear it’s quite enlightening! Please go check out Teepa Snow…she’s amazing!
I voted for you! Congratulations on winning the keynote speaker competition. You’ll be fabulous, of course!
My mother passed away a few years ago. At the end, she had pretty much lost her short-term memory. According to what my brother-in-law told me, it was not Alzheimer’s. Instead, it was the result of years of untreated high blood pressure. You can be sure that I am going to control my blood pressure, and try not to end up like that myself!
My mother lived into her late 80s, and she had a long, full life and was well loved.
Hi Cathy! Congratulations on your upcoming speaking AND for sharing what you are learning with all of us on a regular basis. So good to remember when it comes to dealing with someone who is experiencing dementia. As you said, there has to be a better way to deal with it rather than just locking someone up. And 110 different kinds? Who knew??? Thanks for all the info. ~Kathy
Thanks for your kind congrats! And yes…who knew? We who are caregivers are often so overwhelmed we have no idea that there is new information and we may be going about it all wrong! Teepa Snow is really a pioneer, so it’s an honor to get her information out there!
You missed 1 Knock Knock joke…
Knock Knock…who’s there?…Boo….Boo Who?
Don’t Cry there will be another You Just Have to Laugh Blog next week
Awww….that’s pretty cute…of course, now I’m under pressure to have that blog out next week!
I’m really happy you’ll be a keynote and glad to have offered my own vote for you, Cathy.
Thanks, Carol. I’m very excited about the opportunity!
Thanks for the information on dementia. it’s bigger than what i thought. and so many kind.
congratulation on your speaking. you will be great.
and yes i love your jokes at the end. 🙂 !!!!!
Thanks, Jerome! I’m looking forward to the Keynote..AND meeting Teepa Snow yet again! She’s amazing! And thanks for reading the jokesQ1 Ha!
Loved the jokes and congrats on the speaking win! The whole dementia issue is enormous isn’t it. My dad died a while ago from early onset dementia and it drove my mum to the edge dealing with all the quirks and upheavals that come with it – the repetition, the sleeping, the unreliability etc – understandable and sad but so difficult for those who are the caregivers.
Yes, Leanne for sure…so hard for the caregivers. Teepa truly gave me and the rest of the room new insight into the way we deal with our loved ones who are suffering so much. So sorry for your Mum and your Dad. I’m sure it was overwhelming and sad.