Caregivers are not permitted to take vacations. But good ones do so anyway. If you can get out of the country and be completely incommunicado that’s ideal (being incognito doesn’t hurt either).
My husband and I took a bucket list trip to Macchu Pichu in Peru. We nearly killed ourselves hiking mountains in high altitude and then melting with sweat in the Amazon jungle. No phone, no lights, no motor cars, not a single luxury…not really true, we stayed in some damn fine five star hotels for about five hours a night. But the only way to communicate with this caregiver was through email. In a country where you are not allowed to flush your toilet paper and must use bottled water to brush your teeth….WIFI is not high on their list. This caregiver was thrilled to be almost completely unplugged from the world for ten days.
I made sure the folks in my brother-in-law’s rehab knew that they must call my mother if any decisions needed to be made about his care. My mother gave them my sister’s phone number as well. They had enough phone numbers to start a new yellow pages under “caregivers for Cathy’s brother-in-law.”
When I returned from conquering mountains and tarantulas, on a Saturday, there were six messages on my home phone and four on my cell phone from the rehab center. Insurance and Medicare had determined that my brother-in-law could be discharged from rehab to home, where he lives alone, even though the doctor insisted that he must remain on complete bed rest for 2 or 3 more weeks. The rehab center wanted me to know that his coverage was now terminated, three days before I returned from the jungles of Peru.
Even though they tried to call me TEN times…. with no response from me, they seemed to decide that I’m an irresponsible person. No one looked at the file to see if there was any indication of who else to call. No one took one teensy weensy step further and thought: “Gee, this is weird. That lady is in here several times a week bugging all of us for anything from therapy updates to a single sugar packet. I wonder why she is ignoring our phone calls?”
Nope.
I called on Saturday and was surprised to find that at the very least, they kept him in his room, assuming he would pay for it. Now they are working very hard to see if they can get his insurance to reconsider.
So the good news is we checked a square off our bucket list. The better news is we didn’t die doing it, no malaria and no altitude sickness, no death by diarrhea, no tarantula bites. The best news is my brother-in-law isn’t home in a bed wondering if anybody knows where he is.
You don’t get a vacation and….
“You just have to Laugh…..”
©2014 Cathy Sikorski
So glad you got to cross this trip off your bucket list. Sounds like it was great. And it’s amazing that people don’t think outside the box. Ten messages and no reply would be a sign that maybe you were out of the country and to look for a back up contact. Glad it all worked out.
Yes, Janet, the world of rehab, assisted living and medical care never ceases to amaze me. Thanks for reading, and yes, the trip was so great!
I have this sane problem but mom lives with me. Even a dinner out alone with my hubby is a small miracle. I could see having this problem if I were an only child, but there are five of us total. I get a weekend here and there because sge visits her sister or niece when I drive her 4 hours each way. What can you do. I have a 2 week cross-country trip planned next September and I’m already making the arrangements just so I have plans A, B and C.
Oh Rena, my heart goes out to you. I also have 7 siblings…and they are very very helpful. I have to ask but they always do what I need. Sometimes I think asking is the hardest part, but I encourage you to do so. And don’t cancel that trip. It’s really important for you and your husband. Thanks for reading and commenting! I love my readers.
It’s a hard life and the main reason I picked writing back up after so many years. I wouldn’t change it. I have 2 that live close on of those moving off to follow “his dreams”. One lives close and helps for a couple of hours here and there. It amazes me they are all big strong men and I get “I can’t handle it” Really I’m 44 was an empty nester for 3 years before being diagnosed myself with a rare form of RA and I seem to manage 24/7. They can’t even bother with a 5 minute phone call once a week after me “asking” for just that. Sad group of men. There is 1 here that helps and my hubby of course. I write at The Diary of N Alzheimer’s Caregiver. I don’t mention family on the site because I have enough drama dealing with ALZ everyday. Enjoyed your site and will definitely be returning!
Thanks so much for reading. Anything I can do to help, even if it’s find a resource for you or make you laugh. I so love and honor caregivers! Please keep in touch as you can.
Thank you! It’s been a pleasure meeting you too! I blog over at http://www.thediaryofanalzheimerscaregiver.com and also http://www.millionmileblog.com. It keeps me busy and off the street haha!
Enjoying your blog, Rena!
Thanks so much Cathy!
Unbelievable isn’t it? Glad you had a good time, and survived it!
Thanks Sandy, can’t wait to show you the pics!
Love the picture of the piranha searching for WiFi – too funny!!
Yeah…just so you know..he didn’t find any wifi!
Do you get to have 2-3 weeks of bed rest after your trek through the mountains and jungles?
That would be nice…but you probably forgot that caregivers aren’t allowed to rest either.
i’m really glad you got a chance to get away. God knows you need it. smiles!!!! the picture above is beautiful. the hike up looks really steep, and mean steep!!! with all the care giving work you have to do and running around. you probably smiles!!! are in good shape!!!!
Jerome, that hike was ridiculous…I’m so glad I didn’t wait ten more years to do THAT! But surviving makes me think you may be right…caregiving is good exercise!
The idea of a serious vacation while caregiving is inspiring!
Yes, dear friend you must always consider a vaca….it will all be here when you get back anyway!
Oh my. What a story! I’m so glad you had a great trip without interruptions. That was always my challenge, too, when taking care of my mother. Unfortunately, it’s not unusual for health care providers to be as clueless as your brother-in-law’s were. You may as well laugh. 🙂
Yep, Laurie, that’s my motto. At least if I keep laughing my abs get a workout and maybe I can climb more hills in the future! Thanks for commenting and reading.