Or…….Do I stay or Do I go?

Eventually, we will all have to venture to the grocery store, either for ourselves or for someone we want to protect. My mom is 91. She’s not going to any grocery store. Luckily, she fell right before Corona and can’t drive right now. I know. I know. Who says. “luckily, my dear old mom fell”? I do. She even called me out on it. “You’re happy I fell, now I can’t go anywhere!” What, I say,  would be the point in denying it?

My husband has been forbidden from grocery shopping as well. You might think it is because he falls in the ‘elderly’ category, or because he has high blood pressure. No. It’s because he buys too many snacks. I can’t control myself and I’m determined to keep the Corona 15 from showing up on my scale.

My master plan was to go at 6:00 AM during old-lady shopping hours. I also deduced that Wednesday might be the best day since Monday was the day after the weekend, Tuesday was re-stock day and by Wednesday everyone would be sick of shopping.

I was pretty ecstatic when I arrived in the parking lot and there were only a handful of cars parked socially distanced apart. And yes, the store only had two customers and just a dozen dedicated workers. So far, so good. I went right to the dreaded paper products aisle and scored the only package of Bounty, two containers of Clorox wipes, and the sole package of toilet paper, which was store-brand organic. I suspected with that label it might just be tree bark, but it was on my mom’s list, so que sera sera. (you’re thinking you’re glad she’s not my daughter!).

I then proceeded to buy hundreds of dollars of groceries for my mom, myself and a few things for my friend whose husband was coming home from the hospital that day after emergency brain surgery. My cart looked like Santa’s sleigh and my thighs were screaming for mercy from the workout (this should be an upside). I commandeered another cart at checkout to even the load.

After depositing around 300 bags of groceries into my SUV, I actually went back in with a small cart to get my mom’s over the counter protein shakes, which she needs for her injury, not her workout routine. I got a few more missed items that wouldn’t fit in the original cart and just at that magical moment, the wine section opened and I purchased my rationed allotment of 2 reds and 2 whites. A girl’s gotta’ do some self-care.

I reveled in my triumphant return to the SUV. Took off my disposable gloves, wiped disinfectant all over the car, put my keys in the ignition…..and nothing. Nothing. My car was dead. Dead, dead, dead. No amount of tears, kicking, screaming or sweet talk would revive her. Here I sat, after two hours traipsing around the store, now with 300 and 5 bags of groceries and no way to get out of the parking lot.

I called my better half and a tow truck. My husband and I proceeded to re-load his care with every single bag of groceries. I eyed the tow truck for space in case we needed it as well.  The wine, however, was staying with me at all costs. Two more hours later, after wiping every single package down and re-packing and delivering said groceries, I enjoyed the best glass of wine I may have ever tasted.

So, here is a question I ask all of you for grocery-shopping-in-the-time-of-corona: Is it better to go once every 2 weeks or so and be in there for 2 hours, touching a million things and being around others? Or, is it better to go in a few times a week for 20 minutes, get the few things you need and get out? I really can’t decide.

What I can tell you is that with all of our liquor stores shuttered, the few times a week is looking better and better.

“You Just have to Laugh…………and stay safe………………”

©2020 Cathy Sikorski