I am so ashamed. Yesterday, I said “F$%^@ YOU! to Comcast.
Of course, I’ve wanted to say that to Comcast on many, many, many occasions. But I have controlled myself. I’ve acted like a mature, grown-up and kept my temper until I hung up the phone and then said it out loud again and again and again.
I’ve said that to Comcast while watching TV when my cable box goes out for the 10th time in one night. I’ve commiserated with many a Comcast customer and we’ve concluded with “F&^% YOU, Comcast.”
But this day, I actually said it to the customer service representative.
I know you want the story:
“Hello, this is Cathy. I am the Power of Attorney for my brother-in-law. We need to disconnect his service, as he is now in a nursing home.”
It’s more complicated than that, because he’s only there temporarily, but I knew any other story would slide me right over to ‘upsell land’ trying to get me to buy HBO, STARZ, SHOWTIME and any other ‘deal’ of the day.
“Oh,” the representative replied, “I’m so sorry to hear that. Okay, let’s get this done. I need his home address, birth date, the last four digits of his Social Security number and your name and relationship to the customer.”
I gave her all the necessary information.
“Well, I see that account has already been cancelled.”
“Really?” I said with surprise, “by whom?”
“By Ryan, do you know someone named Ryan?”
“No, I don’t.” More disturbingly, I don’t know anyone named Ryan who would have my brother-in-law’s birth date and last four digits of his Social Security number.
“And what did Ryan say his relationship to the customer is, exactly?” I inquired.
“I don’t know,” she said informatively.
I paused here. My first thought being: “well how in the hell does some stranger without all this necessary information cancel this contract?”
But quickly followed by, “thanks, Ryan, whoever you are. Now I’m done with this baloney.”
“He does live in an apartment facility,” I tell the representative.
“Oh, well then that must be it, they probably cancelled it. It was done yesterday.”
So far so good, right? What could possibly have led me to swearing, losing my cool?
“Okay, that’s great,” I say, “now, I’m sure you will owe him a refund. How does that get processed?”
“The customer will receive a paper check in 30 days.”
“Excuse me?” I countered. “You have been taking money out of his bank account for five years. I would prefer that you just refund the account that way.”
“Oh no,” she said rather quickly, “it must be a paper check in 30 days. That’s their policy.”
“So let me get this straight, you have had access to this bank account for five years. Now you want to send a paper check to the customer who is cancelling service because they are moving away from the address where you want to send the check?”
“Yes, that’s their policy.”
“Okay, I know this is not your job. So could you please register my complaint to the ‘powers that be’ that this is ridiculous? That when people call to cancel an account, that you should either refund the amount to their bank account, or send it to their new address, since they call because they are moving.”
“No,” she actually said ‘no’, ” I can’t do that. This has been their policy from the beginning.”
Even still….I was holding myself in check.
“Well,” I said, “thank you so very much for NOT registering my complaint.’
“Have a good day,” she siad.
“Fuck you,” I said.
P.S. Five minutes later I called the phone company, which is a little tiny podunk town phone company, to cancel his phone service. That customer service rep asked me this question:
“Where would you like me to send the refund check?”
“You Just have to Laugh….”
©2015 Cathy Sikorski
BRILLIANT!!!,!!,!
You may flatter me any day of the week! Thanks!
sounds like doing business with Microsoft Company. i wonder if Microsoft has stock in them. maybe own them. right on to what you said to them. Comcast here has been losing business.
but you have to laugh that a small little phone company is more right on the ball than some big ass company. I’m totally with you on this!!!!! smiles!!!!!!!!
Thanks for the words of support!! And right, that little phone company totally has it figured it out…customer service shouldn’t be so difficult. Smiles right back at ya’, Jerome!
It’s good that you can laugh about it! How do all of these companies get away with having such terrible customer service?
If only I knew,Lois!
OK, as long as they don’t make the check out to Ryan you are all set. Just infuriating isn’t it? I remember trying to cancel internet after my mom died. They wanted me to pay the remainder of a contract, not give me a refund but pay them more!
It is not just Comcast. I swear at Cox Communications daily. Like this morning when I was sitting next to the router box on a Skype call and my signal was low. Breathe…. Great perspective as always!
Oh Ruthie, sad that this is a universal experience, isn’t it? No wonder we swear and our Mom’s didn’t, they didn’t have cable!!!
Oh yes. It is ridiculous. They are insane. crazy.
And yet we are bound like a bad marriage!
This made me LOL because you are so funny and such an awesome writer. I hate Comcast too. I just asked our TV repairman if he has any preference between Comcast and Verizon and he said one is as terrible as the other.
Well, Helene, that’s good to know as some of the Verizon people are sure they have a better product and service. But it doesn’t matter in my case because apparently I live in “Deliverance” and they won’t come out here to install their fancy dancy Verizon. And right back at ya’ I think you are an amazing writer. I just breathe better after reading your beautiful prose!
I know your frustration. It’s like they’re reading from a script and can’t deviate from it. So annoying.
I know! ANd what is that????? The world is not black and white. For heaven’s sake she could have just said “ok” and not even done anything. How would I know?
Substitute Cox for Comcast and ditto, ditto, ditto. Last night, at the precise moment the Republican candidate debate begin, Cox did “maintenance” and my tv went blank.
OH MY GOD…REally??? Geez, I guess they were thinking: She doesn’t need to be informed….God help us!
I HATE Comcast. We cancelled them 5-years ago. Not a day goes by that I don’t get mail begging me to come back to them and now they have private contractors that knock on my door at least twice a week which scares the crap out of me. I never answer and it takes forever for them to go away even when I yell I’m not interested.
Oh Doreen, that’s incredible….and yes, no one comes to the door anymore. That also scares the crap out of me. Maybe you should answer with a toy shotgun! Ha!
I’m amazed you have any hair left. I would be pulling mine out by now.
Luckily. I have been blessed in that department, so you don’t see where that has been done!
I share your frustration. I went through it so many times while caring for mom and dad. Then I found something that worked. I posted a complaint on THEIR Facebook page (not mine). the complaint came down fast, but I got a response from a customer service representative who did address my concern. It wasn’t Comcast, but all large companies are the same. You have to break through the front end. I also got a response from a big company to something I posted on my blog. Again, they don’t like the bad publicity. So I hope they see your complaint and get back to you! Good luck.
Well, there’s a good idea! Thanks for the tip!