Category Archives: Medicare

HALLOWEEN: A T-P game you never saw before

Caregivers, Humor, Medicare, Uncategorized, , , , , ,

As October winds its beautiful way into our crisply chilled hearts, all thoughts turn to Halloween. This time for treats and tricks invariably leads to someone, somewhere using toilet paper to wreak havoc on an unsuspecting neighbor.

I, too, have become a victim of what we used to call “t-peeing”, which did not mean peeing, but meant wickedly and with abandon tossing toilet paper all over the trees, yard, cars and driveways during the All Hallows Eve season. This was deemed hilarious by all evil teens and pre-teens, and a pain-in-the-ass to all middle aged development homeowners who had to clean it up, not to mention the WASTE OF TOILET PAPER. Oh the waste!!!

So you’re probably wondering how this could possibly relate to caregiving. No, I’m not cleaning up my yard from some over-achieving juvenile delinquent who started the season early. My 90 year-old Aunt just LOVES toilet paper. It meets all her needs.

Aunt J uses TP for just about everything, tissues substitute, cleaning rag substitute, hold-it-in-my-hand-in-case-I-need-it substitute. Next to a pocketbook, tissues may be the second coming of the Savior.

But the scariest use for TP has become, pads and Depends substitute. She just absolutely INSISTS that she must fill every area of her granny panties with extra toilet paper. So she puts on her panties (or rather I put them over her feet and pull them up halfway), we put TWO pads in the crotch to line them against all accidents, AND THEN SHE ATTACKS. She unwinds that toilet paper like Christmas lights until the strand is long enough to circumvent the globe….and that’s ONE section for the front. Then she does the same for a section for the back.

Now I am certainly all for cleanliness, fresh smelling people, lovely scented perfumes, and armpits dusted with powdery smells ( I direct you to Cleanliness is Next to Godliness)but it seems to me that two or three pads, or Depends plus pads is really sufficient to meet her needs. And since I have become intimately aware of her needs, I can assure you the use of two or three strategically placed pads in those cocoon size panties are plenty.

But it’s the waste. I am going through 25 to 28 rolls of toilet paper every two weeks. And it’s the good stuff, Mr. Whipple would nominate me for an award or at least give me stock in Procter and Gamble. I don’t have time to squeeze the Charmin’, it flies off the roll like blowing a dandelion to the wind.

So finally, I entrust this dilemma to my Mom. A contemporary of Aunt J. She tells her , “NO more toilet paper, these Depends are fine.” And that’s enough. Waste is over. One Depression baby to another…..”stop wasting”…..problem solved.

You just have to laugh…….

Cathy Sikorski

Trick or Treat…Mother Nature’s Halloween joke.

Caregivers, Humor, Medicare, Multiple Sclerosis, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , ,

One beautiful crimson and golden day in October, and I mean beautiful, I was required to go on a ‘shopping spree’ for a rehab center for my brother-in-law, “L.”  He was recently hospitalized and needed a few weeks or months to get his strength back, so he could return home. The first place they sent him was too challenging, and they basically kicked him out for not trying hard enough to get better. Who am I to judge? The guy has MS, and he knows what it means to exercise or not exercise, the choice is his. But they said, “nope, you’re not trying hard enough and it ruins our success rate.” Well, ok they didn’t say the last part, but we all know that’s what’s going on.

So I had to find a new place and quickly, because he would be booted in a day or two at the most. My Mom and I spent a very long day looking at five different facilities, trying hard to stay with in a 10 to 20 mile radius, so that I could be there on a regular basis to check on him and make sure he was not being neglected.

O my God, what horrific nightmares are out there. The first place was in this absolutely gorgeous, wooded, bucolic setting. And every resident was passed out, drooling, and not engaged in anyway. AND THAT WAS IN THE LOBBY!  The staff was setting up for a Halloween party, and the decorations were as shabby and pathetic as the lobby. The next place, it smelled….and not good.  The next two places were over-crowded, had teeny, tiny therapy rooms and were dirty. O mon Dieu! Je ne sais quoi! Yes, I was thinking in French because I couldn’t even process this in my native tongue.  Finally, we get to the fifth place, and it is okay. And I really mean just okay. I would like it to be cleaner. I would like to hear less commotion in the hallways, with residents who are clearly distressed. I would like there to be more visible staff. But the therapy facility is enormous, the therapists seem very knowledgeable and have specific tools for dealing with MS patients. And there are some younger men here. L gets a private room because there are so few men in rehab. So all in all, we’ll take it. I’m running out of time, I’m exhausted, and I have seen the worst so “okay” will suffice for now. If I need to keep looking, I will, but it’s just temporary and even though it’s the furthest from home, I will come every day in the beginning, to make sure he is properly cared for.

We take hours to complete all the paperwork to get him in there tomorrow. Ugh….me and my Mom are pooped. This is how I thank  her:

“Don’t you dare go to the hospital tonight. I don’t care that you are perfectly healthy.  If anything happens to you, don’t call me. Call your brother, call all of your other five children or any of their offspring, But I cannot deal with one more hospital, medical team, or medical issue for at least three days.”

Mom just laughs at me. She’s perfectly fine and there’s no reason to think otherwise.

The next day, Saturday, I go out to run a few errands, and it begins to snow. ON OCTOBER 29th, WE HAVE A FULL BLOWN BLIZZARD. Now normally, that wouldn’t be so crazy to have snow in October. But we have so much snow and the trees have not yet lost all their leaves. Trees begin to bough and cover everything, and break power lines and hearts with their cruel, beautiful snow-covered, orange and gold autumnal CRAP. I live in the woods. I can’t get down my driveway, until I call my husband who says: “Shake the trees, Cath, the snow will fall off.” (he’s like a genius)

AND THEN, AND THEN, AND THEN, the phone rings.

“Hi, this is Grandma’s assisted living place.” (of course they don’t say that, but you get the idea)

No big deal, I think, they always call me for Depends, or toothpaste, or nicely scented body wash. HA! Nice try.

“Um, your mother fell and is being ambulanced to the hospital 20 miles away (in a blizzard) because she may have hit her head and that’s the only head trauma unit.”

“Ok,” I say weakly, because I forgot to tell my 93 year-old mother-in-law not to dare go to the hospital today.

My husband comes home, and off we go, in the blizzard to the hospital. She did indeed break her hip and will have surgery(and then I will have to find a rehab for her).  Five hours later, we slowly drive home on snow-covered roads, reach our driveway, which now has broken snow-covered trees all over the place. We park in the street, walk gingerly through the snowy trees, and least you think this is some Robert Frost romantic moment,we find out we have no electricity and no heat.

You just have to laugh…..

Cathy Sikorski

What I won’t do for $62.00

Caregivers, Humor, Medicare, Uncategorized, , , , , , ,

My sister and I recently had the pleasure of taking my Mom to renew an acquaintance of her’s from the 1950’s. My Dad was in the military and during that time, my mom made some pretty intense relationships with other military wives. That show “Army Wives” seems to indicate that not much has changed in 50 or 60 years, in that military spouses, especially those who are not in the military themselves, are bound and determined to make good friendships on bases, even if they know they are only short-lived.

So we trek down from Pennsylvania to Washington, D.C. to meet up with these dear people who haven’t  seen my mom since 1955. It was absolutely delightful. Their son was kind enough to bring them to a restaurant in town so that we could spend two or three hours together. Reminiscing for the older people, getting to know them for us, “the kids”, for the son and I were not even born when they knew each other. Nonetheless, as the parents are in their eighties, and we are in our fifties, the topic turned to health, health insurance, and “what do you do?”

As I began to relate my caregiving stories, I told their son, the lawyer, how frustrating it is for me to see the elderly getting ripped off all the time by their own health insurance. And that brought about the tale of the $62.

I have told my mother, mother-in-law, aunts, uncles, disabled brother-in-law, cousins and pretty much anyone who would listen, that JUST BECAUSE YOU GET A BILL FROM A DOCTOR OR MEDICAL PROVIDER, DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO PAY IT. As you can imagine from the capital letters, this advice often falls on deaf ears. (Like, why would I who practices elder law, medicare law and has been a caregiver for sick people for over 20 years know anything about this?!!) AND, so the unsuspecting relative, friend, client, pays the bill and then brings it to my attention…ever so much later! Of course, this sends me into a tizzy. Yes, I said tizzy. I rant and rave and get on the phone with the offending billing department, which I KNOW, will be receiving proper payment from all the insurance they have and they will owe nothing.

One such scenario went like this:

“Hello?, you sent my mother-in-law a bill, and her insurance has paid you already.”

“One moment please. Do you have the account number? The date of service? Her insurance card number? Her OTHER insurance card number? Her date of birth? Her astrological sign? (okay they didn’t ask for that, but if they did would you really be surprised?)”

“Well, yes I see that she has other insurance, but you will have to get a new bill from her doctor showing this, that and the other thing to clear this up.”

So I call the doctor. And they are very nice, and more than willing to send me a new bill showing this, that and the other thing for proper credit so that I can get my mother-in-law’s $62 returned to her. But the desk clerk leaves me with one thought:

” Good luck getting your mom’s $62 dollars back, that almost never happens.”

“Oh,” I say, “you don’t know me.”

Next week the $62 check comes to my mother in law, who insists on splitting it with me because of the fine legal work she has witnessed. But  here’s the thing. I would do that again and again for $1 for every elderly person who is paying these bills they shouldn’t pay, likely living on a fixed income, and their insurance does, in fact reimburse the doctor, but the patient never sees their money come back to them. Truth be told, I’d probably make a million bucks doing it!

You just gotta’ laugh…. (and fight with insurance companies and medical providers)

Cathy Sikorski

A long ago tale from Social Security

Caregivers, Humor, Medicare, Uncategorized

My sister is the beautiful age of 62! That is the magic number in Social Security. If you so desire, you can apply for your Social Security benefits at age 62. You will give up a certain amount by starting to take them early,but it’s a crap shoot. Who is going to live the longest, you or the Social Security Administration? My bet is on you. So, if your situation makes sense to take your benefits early, take your money and run. This is exactly what my beautiful 62 year-old sister attempted to do. Oh but little did she know this was shark-infested waters.

She trots herself off to the office of Social Security:

“Hello, beautiful 62 year-old sister! Can I help you?”

“Why  yes, I would like to apply for my Social Security benefits!”, she says with aplomb and great delight.

“Oh…sorry you can’t do that here.”

“Excuse me, is this not the sacred Social Security Administration office?”

“Why yes, yes it is..but you need an appointment. I don’t have an appointment here for “my beautiful 62 year-old sister”,but you can apply online from the comfort of your own home!”

“Well, I did not know that. I will go home and apply online, which I am CERTAIN will be easy and have absolutely no glitches! Yay government!”

You see it coming, don’t you? Well at least you THINK you do. In fact, she goes home and applies on line quite successfully. She even receives a  phone call from Social Security with a question about her place of birth, which is seemingly cleared up with no real problems. The representative says, “everything looks fine, it should process in a few months.”

Two days later, on a Saturday,( because I am absolutely convinced that all Social Security mail is purposely retained to be mailed for receipt on Saturday so that you can’t talk to anyone about it) she receives a letter at her childhood home in her maiden name, where our Mom still lives after 41 years, addressed to my beautiful 17 year-old sister, from 45 years ago, saying :

Since my sister has no recollection of ever receiving Social Security, hasn’t lived at that address for 40 years, and hasn’t even had that name for at least 24 years, this is a conundrum. Our best guess, since we can’t call anyone for at least two days,(and if you have EVER tried to call Social Security on a Monday morning, you know it will be three or four days before you can talk to anyone……because EVERYONE who got a crazy letter on Saturday is on that phone first thing Monday morning) is that when her mother died, her father was receiving Social Security benefits for her for about a year, and likely was overpaid by one month. But her father, my step-father died in 1998, and my mother, her step-mother has lived there since 1972 and never saw any Social Security letters addressed to my sister.

Lucky for the beautiful 62 year-old, the letter was sent to our Mom after 45 years, SINCE IT HAD HER SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER PLASTERED ALL OVER IT. Is it whistle-blowing to call these idiots out as they are randomly sending out letters with Social Security numbers likely to people who have moved, are dead, or maybe even in a nursing home suffering from Alzheimer’s disease. Would one have to move to Russia to bring this to the world’s attention a la Mr. Snowden?

So we do call Social Security on Monday afternoon and hardly wait at all for that annoying MUZAK to stop. We speak to a delightful young lady who informs us that a new law has just been passed foregoing any previous statutes of limitations on the Social Security Office’s right to collect on overpayments. Ever. Forever. Ad inifinitum. So they sent out letters to everyone they could come up with to whatever address they had to see if they could collect this lost money. And each and every letter has the alleged recipient’s name AND FULL SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER.

In my sister’s case, the nice lady said that since her claim number on the letter had the letter “C” in it, it means she received money as a child and they want it back. And even though, admittedly, she probably never saw that money or even knew it was coming to her. She had to pay it back. And if she didn’t pay it back, as the letter sent to her address of 45 years ago clearly states, any income tax refund she may be entitled to in the future will be taken to absolve her of this debt.

Soooooooooooooo, not only are they generously giving out Social Security numbers to random strangers for the identity-theft taking, they will likely take your income tax return money and you won’t have a clue as to what the hell is going on.

REALLY????? FORTY-FIVE YEARS AGO I OWED YOU $195.89 AND YOU LOOKED SO HARD FOR ME THAT IT TOOK YOU THIS LONG TO FIND ME AND SPREAD MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER TO THE WIND?!?!

Yay government!

Perhaps someone at Social Security should read the Forbes Article below!

YOU JUST GOTTA LAUGH……

Cathy Sikorski

Related articles

Do you REALLY need an ambulance? I think not.

Caregivers, Medicare, Uncategorized

One day, over a  year ago, my 95 year-old dear, sweet, mother-in-law Marie, was having leg pain so severe, that the aides in her personal care facility, called an ambulance. The record states that ,” patient has being (sic) stages of Dementia. The pt was in pain and would have muscle spasm causing her to jump in pain…”  Now, the fact that she was ‘jumping’ at anything is quite remarkable, being 95 and all. So due to this and several other factors, the EMTs decided to take her to the local hospital. They called my husband, who was on the golf course that Saturday morning. They called me, and I was at my Wills for Heroes  pro bono attorney event which I try to attend at least twice-a-year for first responders, where we do free wills and Powers of Attorney documents for first responders and their families ( and now you know why they need these documents!). After I saw a call from the Personal Care Unit and my sister-in-law, I realized something was up. I called my 83 year-old mother to high tail it over to the hospital, and sit with Marie, until my husband or  I could get there. Yes, my go-to girl is my 83 year-old mother. She’s very peppy, as 80-somethings go, so she can high tail it to the hospital with the best of them.  As it turns out, despite Marie’s constant wincing in pain and yelping, which she really never does, they couldn’t find anything really wrong and sent her back home.

Here’s the kicker. Medicare refused to pay for the ambulance transport. I have now appealed this twice. This is my beef with this. How is a 95 year-old DOCUMENTED dementia patient in personal care, who truly doesn’t even remember how to use a telephone, supposed to be financially responsible for an ambulance transport that she did not order, ask for, or was incapable of consenting to. Sure, the EMTs got her to sign a  consent. Does that really count? I have no problem with all the good people who were taking excellent care of my mother-in-law. They were concerned, they called for medical assistance and, I have to assume the staff and the EMTs decided that for Marie’s safety and well-being, it was best to take her to the ER.

So, I’m sorry, but to try and saddle Marie with a bill for $797.20 is unconscionable. So what is the reasoning here? I’m sorry she wasn’t sick enough for you? In pain enough for you? Was at the mercy of her caregivers, trying to do the right thing, to take an ambulance ride? I’m still appealing, I refuse to let them win. and so well….sometimes you just have to laugh…..