As we were discussing our daughters’ fierce food requirements when they come to visit, my friend, Pat revealed that she feels the same way as I do about the wonders of kale.
Pat’s daughter is a vegan and my daughter is very careful about her diet. When these girls come to stay at our respective homes, we grocery shop for them, we cook for them and we try very hard not to make a mistake, insult their food, or give them any excuse to never return.
Each and everyone of you knows that kale is the Super Woman of super food. When you ingest kale, you are creating a vortex of health, wisdom, happiness, hale(ness?) and heartiness throughout your body. Kale will not be denied. It will make all things well in the world, especially in your colon, pancreas, pituitary gland and all those other internal organs you play like a fiddle.
I hate kale. I hate mean girls and I hate kale.
Do not give me recipes for kale. Do not tell me to eat kale chips, kale salad or kale smoothies. I tried. I hate it.
This is where Pat explained to me, that her daughter explained to her, that in order to release the power and joys of kale you need to massage it.
Okay, seriously, I’m done now.
I don’t even know what that means…massage the kale. Do I need massage oil for that? Can instructions be found in the Kalema Sutra?
I’m not massaging my kale. I don’t even massage my husband. If anyone’s getting a massage here it’s me. I will buy non-dairy yogurt, gluten free bread, only shredded Brussels sprouts for the healthy visitors in my house . But even if it makes kale taste like anything from Ben & Jerry’s, I refuse to massage the kale.
Yes, I’m far from perfect. Yes, I eat and drink things that are naughty. And in the interest of full disclosure, I snarfed up all the Easter Candy. left over wedding favors and the real Ben & Jerry’s ice cream in the freezer last night before our daughter came home for a lengthy visit. I say that as a point of pride, not shame (about the food, not my daughter). After all, I was creating a healthy food environment for my house guest, right? Oh, the things we do for company.
As for my personal constitution, all my grandparents lived well into their 90’s and I’m certain that not one of them ever massaged a leafy green vegetable. So I’m good.
“You Just have to Laugh…..”
©2016 Cathy Sikorski
for some one who eats the tasty sweet stuff. you l look great and slim. Kale? what is it? smiles!!! yes I have to laugh!!!
Don’t even introduce yourself to kale, Jerome. And thanks for the compliment!
This is too funny 🙂 Cathy, please don’t tell me what “massaging the kale” means– since as you know I am at a very tender and impressionable age. 🙂
You and the kale are far too tender to be speaking of this! You’re hilarious, Mary!
Did you know that kale contains an ingredient that turns into kidney stones? Kale is not perfect. I refuse to eat it, much less massage it.
Yes, Tina, I knew you’d have the answers! Yay…no kale!
I hate Kale. I’ll live a few years less to not have to but that roadkill in my mouth.
Oh Cheryl, I knew you were a kindred spirit!
I hear ya, sister. My son is Gluten Free Dairy Free. His present girlfriend is a vegan.My daughter is onion and garlic free. My son-in-law is Gluten free. Making a meal for this crew is so fun- not! I have to eat up all the glutenous food to make room for the GF! I have to eat all the ice cream to make room for the DF ice cream. My son had to teach me how to massage the kale- who knew???
HAHAHA, Oh Ellen, we are so getting ‘schooled’ by our kids! I didn’t even know there were this many kinds of food. Imagine what our grandparents would think of all this!!!
Well Cathy. 7 glorious weeks of healthy living now ahead for you 😀. But also the joy of having dear Rachel home with you. Lots of girlie days ahead. Enjoy
Yes, darling Marian, One thinks it may be so wrong to even ‘hint’ of a complaint that I get all this glorious time with my beautiful daughter. It’s really kale I was complaining about!! Love to all of you1