If there is anything that’s driving us all crazy right now, it’s money, which does seem a bit nuts since our health should be the first order of business.

But let’s be honest. As much as we are trying our best to stay healthy (I know you’re washing your hands that now feel like sandpaper, you’re staying home as much as you can and wondering why you chose these people as your cellmates), many of us are a bit consternated about the cash.

So, in the spirit of caregiving, which started this whole blog and caring for all my caregivers out there, I want to show you something that might help.

Below is a copy of a caregiver’s agreement. This is a way for you to get paid while taking care of your grandma, your uncle, your neighbor who has no one else, or your mother-in-law. I know. I know. You don’t want to be opportunistic at a time like this. But here’s the thing. I recently read from the great Seth Godin, this may not be the time for giving all you have away for free. I am certain most of you are giving of your time and perhaps money right now to very good and necessary causes. That is commendable in every way. But for those of you who are caregiving and have now become jobless. This is something you should consider, especially if the one you care for can afford your services.

It doesn’t matter that you have been caring for free up until now. It doesn’t matter that you are related to this person. What matters now is that we all hold our heads above water, that we all help each other stay less anxious, and that we all work to keep the ship aright. And so I say, if that means, even temporarily you institute a caregiving agreement that allows for the caregiver to be paid, you should do so and do so now.

There are a million scenarios where this makes sense:

• Someone has lost their paid caregiver and you are now at home with your caree to help….. but you are working from home
• Your loved one needs care but you don’t want them to be around others who can’t quarantine so you are keeping them with you
• You have been in charge of their care, but now you are the caregiver
• Someone has just newly needed care and you cannot find care, or you want to protect them
• Your spouse has lost her/his job and you have been a stay-at-home unpaid caregiver and need to be paid now to keep a roof over everyone’s head, including the caree

And the list really could be endless. The second part of Seth Godin’s blog said this:

Gifts create connection and possibility, but not all gifts have monetary value. In fact, some of the most important gifts involve time, effort and care instead.

AND THEN THIS:

In this moment when we’re so disconnected and afraid, the answer might not be a freebie. That might simply push us further apart. The answer might be showing up to do the difficult work of connection, of caring and of extending ourselves where it’s not expected.

He literally said, caring. If ever there was a time to help unpaid caregivers get paid, this is it. I have put the agreement here, click on the red words below. If you want me to email you a copy, just send me a message at cathy.sikorski@gmail.com and I will send you a copy.

caregiver-contract

Stay healthy, stay safe and believe it or not, stay laughing!

Or…….Do I stay or Do I go?

Eventually, we will all have to venture to the grocery store, either for ourselves or for someone we want to protect. My mom is 91. She’s not going to any grocery store. Luckily, she fell right before Corona and can’t drive right now. I know. I know. Who says. “luckily, my dear old mom fell”? I do. She even called me out on it. “You’re happy I fell, now I can’t go anywhere!” What, I say,  would be the point in denying it?

My husband has been forbidden from grocery shopping as well. You might think it is because he falls in the ‘elderly’ category, or because he has high blood pressure. No. It’s because he buys too many snacks. I can’t control myself and I’m determined to keep the Corona 15 from showing up on my scale.

My master plan was to go at 6:00 AM during old-lady shopping hours. I also deduced that Wednesday might be the best day since Monday was the day after the weekend, Tuesday was re-stock day and by Wednesday everyone would be sick of shopping.

I was pretty ecstatic when I arrived in the parking lot and there were only a handful of cars parked socially distanced apart. And yes, the store only had two customers and just a dozen dedicated workers. So far, so good. I went right to the dreaded paper products aisle and scored the only package of Bounty, two containers of Clorox wipes, and the sole package of toilet paper, which was store-brand organic. I suspected with that label it might just be tree bark, but it was on my mom’s list, so que sera sera. (you’re thinking you’re glad she’s not my daughter!).

I then proceeded to buy hundreds of dollars of groceries for my mom, myself and a few things for my friend whose husband was coming home from the hospital that day after emergency brain surgery. My cart looked like Santa’s sleigh and my thighs were screaming for mercy from the workout (this should be an upside). I commandeered another cart at checkout to even the load.

After depositing around 300 bags of groceries into my SUV, I actually went back in with a small cart to get my mom’s over the counter protein shakes, which she needs for her injury, not her workout routine. I got a few more missed items that wouldn’t fit in the original cart and just at that magical moment, the wine section opened and I purchased my rationed allotment of 2 reds and 2 whites. A girl’s gotta’ do some self-care.

I reveled in my triumphant return to the SUV. Took off my disposable gloves, wiped disinfectant all over the car, put my keys in the ignition…..and nothing. Nothing. My car was dead. Dead, dead, dead. No amount of tears, kicking, screaming or sweet talk would revive her. Here I sat, after two hours traipsing around the store, now with 300 and 5 bags of groceries and no way to get out of the parking lot.

I called my better half and a tow truck. My husband and I proceeded to re-load his care with every single bag of groceries. I eyed the tow truck for space in case we needed it as well.  The wine, however, was staying with me at all costs. Two more hours later, after wiping every single package down and re-packing and delivering said groceries, I enjoyed the best glass of wine I may have ever tasted.

So, here is a question I ask all of you for grocery-shopping-in-the-time-of-corona: Is it better to go once every 2 weeks or so and be in there for 2 hours, touching a million things and being around others? Or, is it better to go in a few times a week for 20 minutes, get the few things you need and get out? I really can’t decide.

What I can tell you is that with all of our liquor stores shuttered, the few times a week is looking better and better.

“You Just have to Laugh…………and stay safe………………”

©2020 Cathy Sikorski

What a great time to get back to blogging! What an even better time to get back to blogging at “You Just have to Laugh…..”

It has come to my attention that many of us are spending unprecedented amounts of time with our significant others, our partners, our spouses, our boyfriends, girlfriends and whomever else we may be trapped with in our abodes.

This seems daunting. I mean, sure we love them, you know, enough. But do we really have to spend ALL this time together? This is where it is getting tricky, six days in. The old saying, “for better or for worse, but not for lunch,”  has more depth than I realized.

I know what you’re thinking. We are all thinking the same thing. GO AWAY! Even introverts are horrified that those pesky extroverts want to keep talking, and talking and talking.

I have two solutions, neither of which I have implemented just yet. So let’s just say this is a social experiment we can all try and share our data.

First, I think we should start dating again. Yep, right here in our own homes. Let’s get our the silver and ‘good china’ and a tablecloth! Let’s have wine (lots of wine, in fact, order more online because in Pennsylvania where I live, the liquor stores are closed indefinitely) in gorgeous crystal glasses. Light the tapers in your grandmother’s candlesticks.  Your kids are going to throw them out eventually anyway. Make amazing dinners. Put on romantic music. And yes, take a shower and get dressed up. Please take a shower, no really. Both of you put on nice clothes. Talk only about your future, what you’d like to do, where you’d like to go. Make it weekly or twice a week.

Create fun dates: games (yes, even those kinds of games), romantic moonlight walks holding hands. Give each other a manicure or pedicure. Go to the movies in your house, but cuddle on the couch. Turn out the lights, share the popcorn. No disaster movies allowed.

Second, GO AWAY. In a socially responsible, socially distancing kind of way.  Go to your own rooms, If you only have one bedroom, let someone BE in the bathroom for two hours if they need to be. You’ve got to get to your separate corners on a regular basis. Don’t be offended if your loved one looks at you with rolling eyes and says the one simple word, “please…..just please.” Translation: Go Away. Go away now. Do not come back until a reasonable amount of time has passed. That is more than 15 minutes.

I welcome all databases on this experiment. Tonight I told my husband fire up the fire pit we are having our own weenie roast and marsmallow roast. This requires camping attire, which I may be wearing as pjs right now, but the cocktail dresses are coming out of the closet soon, very soon.

And never forget today, tomorrow and always: You Just have to Laugh…………