Monthly Archives: June 2018

Maybe we get by with a little help…………..

Humor

I was inspired by a Republican.

I know, you didn’t really expect that from me. I don’t do politics here, and this isn’t that.

My friend Dave likes to tease me about being a bleeding-heart liberal. But it’s truly all in fun and we do have sane, respectful conversations.

But Dave blew me away yesterday. We were at a lovely birthday party where he greeted me with “welcome to the Republican convention!” then with true pleasantries put aside, he told me he is volunteering at a local food bank.

For the entire summer and perhaps beyond, he will spend several hours a week at a local food bank. I don’t do that, do you?  And he still works parttime.

I asked him how he felt about this experience two weeks in.

His biggest take away so far is that he had no idea how truly desperate so many people are, especially in his area, whiech is fairly affluent.

And that’s it right there, isn’t it?

He had no idea. Those of us who are fortunate enough to lead lives of relative prosperity have no idea. I include myself in that. As much as I like to believe I have the heart and soul of well-oiled liberal thoughts. I still, often, have no idea of the deep-down-and-dirty reality of other peoples’  struggles.

There are many ways to go with this. But for now, I’d just like to say.  Maybe we could all volunteer for a day, an hour, a week, a month, a summer and see what enlightenment brings. I’m looking into it, how ’bout you? Let’s all just get a real idea. And then maybe we can come up with some workable ideas that all of us can get on board with.

We can, I know we can.

Not Just Laughing now, but not crying either….looking for a way to come together.

©2018 Cathy Sikorski

 

 

 

Just Tell the Truth………..

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I took a friend in for some out-patient surgery.  Her anesthesiologist told her that she was only going to have a sedative, like the one you get for a colonoscopy. In other words, it would not be general anesthesia. He explained that the difference. General anesthesia relaxes all the muscles, whereas the sedative just makes you sleepy. The good news is she asked to be extra-sleepy and he was totally down with that.

When I was finally allowed back to help my friend get dressed, hear her discharge instructions and get her in the wheelchair to go home, I could see that she was quite a bit loopy. She couldn’t remember everything the doctor had said. She couldn’t remember exactly why her tongue was like sandpaper.  And she was uncertain of her discharge instructions.

All of which was fine, because that’s why I was there. I came as her ‘person.’ It’s pretty much standard that you bring your person to surgery with you. In fact, I highly recommend in all my seminars that you take someone with you to every serious doctor’s appointment, lawyer’s appointment, and financial advisor. Four ears are always better than two.

You absolutely must take a driver to the hospital with you when you are having any kind of sedative. You must. And yet…..

Our discharge nurse told us the tale of how some people try to pretend that their ‘person’ is coming, just not at the moment. I get that. We had to be at the hospital at 6:30 AM. Not many people want to get up in the dark to take someone to the hospital. Maybe you have a tag-team of players. You got your ‘early-riser’ and you got your ‘picker-upper.’ That’s fine. Just so long as someone is there to hear the instructions and take you home, get your meds and put you to bed.

But apparently, there is an underground of people who drive themselves, or get an Uber, or somehow show up alone. They give the intake nurse a fake phone number of their ‘picker-upper,’ and go in and get that surgery. regardless of how they are getting home.

Our nurse said she gets fake phone numbers, lies about family or friends coming, lies about where their car is when the wheelchair is at the door, lies about even where they are going to go after surgery.

If only there was a nose indicator.

She thinks that it’s because people may be private, or stubborn, or just that they don’t want to inconvenience anyone. I told her, I thought all of that is likely true.

But there’s also another possibility. Some people really don’t have a ‘person.’  They just don’t. So if you have a  person. Or you can choose a person from column A or column B. Please do two things. Please don’t be dumb and go it alone…chose a person. You need them. You need them for information, for remembering and for your safety as well as for the safety of every single person trying to get home that day. Just be honest.

And two……….be ever so grateful you have a person. And maybe you can offer to be a person someday.

“You Just have to Laugh……and be a person.”

©2018 Cathy Sikorski

Don’t Pay Those Medical Bills…..Part Deux

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I’m back…..and boy do I have a story for you!

I try so hard to let you all know the important things going on in caregiving both legally and practically. It’s so difficult for us to stay abreast of all this crazy, complex information. And yet, I too, fall prey to the insidious actions of those who would undermine all of us.

I did the one thing, the one thing I tell all of you not to do.  Okay, I didn’t actually do it, but I sat side-by-side with my husband and watched him do the ONE THING I TELL ALL OF YOU NOT TO DO.

Here’s the tale:

My husband was having a routine colonoscopy. He hates that I share personal information, but in this case, it’s critical that you know exactly that. For your protection, he’s allowing me to reveal he has routine medical care. Yes, he’s that great.

The day before the procedure, my husband gets a call from the hospital. They tell him that they have called our insurance and he will have to pay a  $1,190 co-pay. Yes, that is One Thousand One hundred Ninety Dollars.

This seemed really odd to me. Routine care is always covered. But I will admit that even with relatively good health insurance, we have been paying larger and larger sums every year for co-pays, deductibles, and God-forbid, out-of-network costs.

Since the hospital said they checked with our insurance and this would be our co-pay, we took the checkbook to the hospital.

Now, I bitched about this to anyone who would listen.

“Can you believe this? Almost $1200 for a CO-PAY for a ROUTINE COLONOSCOPY? No wonder people get cancer! No wonder they won’t get routine tests! That’s a mortgage payment for lots of people! That’s a car payment! Hell, that’s a mortgage payment AND a car payment for most people!

I was hopping mad. We are fortunate that we could pay, but it’s not without a big “OUCH.” I also know that there are many, many people who absolutely cannot afford $1200 out of nowhere for a ROUTINE PREVENTATIVE MEDICAL PROCEDURE. Yes, I’m yelling. Yes, I’m using exclamation points. I was pissed.

When we got to the hospital, the clerk asked how much did we want to put down on our colonoscopy. Like it was a car, a house, or some nice furniture.  Because they were not taking him back there for those great drugs until we made some kind of a downpayment. For God’s sake.  We just don’t want cancer….which clearly we probably wouldn’t be able to pay for either.

But I sat there, speechless, as my husband wrote a check for $1,190.

And then I got the EOB. That ‘s the Explanation of Benefits. I read every one, just to make sure our medical bills were processed and to see how much of a bill I can expect.

Guess what? The EOB for my husband’s colonoscopy showed that it was a routine procedure and we did not owe anything. Not because we owed a co-pay or a deductible that we paid in advance…but because WE DIDN’T OWE ANYTHING.

Yep. We called the hospital and the billing department said: “Oh, that’s just an estimate that they give you, they don’t really know what you will owe.  We will return all your money. But you need to wait at least two weeks.”

My husband is the calm one in this house. Thank God, because they would only discuss this with him. If I had a crowbar, a siren, or a hammer that phone call would have gone so very differently.

P.S. My husband would not have checked the EOB….and I feel very certain that $1190 would have disappeared forever.

Soooooooooooooo……DO NOT PAY THOSE MEDICAL BILLS…………….JUST WAIT. I wrote the book on it and still had to be reminded the hard way.

“You Just have to Laugh……..and take your own advice……”

©2018 Cathy Sikorski