The Fountain of Youth Sucks

I have found the fountain of youth. And it just may kill you. I now know how to turn a 60-year-old into a 22-year-old.

I crashed my website. On purpose. It looks somewhat the same to you, but trust me, all this recreation makes me think I understand what God did in seven days. As so many are finding out, things we’be never done before, “are much more complicated than I thought.”

I also added a new page to my web address, with an additional WordPress Theme, new widgets, videos, photos, icons and things I don’t even know what they’re called.

I’ve had to contact my hosting company forty thousand times. By telephone. Which freaks them out because no one in this age group solves problems on the phone IRL (In Real LIfe…which also took some critical thinking time to figure out IRL).

Each time I call these poor guys, I explain to them that I am a Baby Boomer with no real skills.This conversation should be explaining how you’re going to teach a 5-year-old to do this. I don’t get a chuckle, a soothing response or an ‘atta’ girl’. They just jump right in going to

What I’m doing…

dashboards and domain thingies, and install buttons……. oh, good lord. And even when I have done every single thing they’ve told me to do, step-by-step, the problem we are trying to fix persists. In the meantime, I myself have figured out the following:

I have actually written HTML code with some help from my millennial kid to get cute icon doohickeys on my new web page.

After fighting with a widget for three hours, I just got ballsy and created my own custom widget that actually worked better.

Then, because either I think I’m invincible now, or I’m a glutton for punishment, I decided to try and create a 2-minute video for this website from an app I put on my iPad. It took me three hours to figure out that I couldn’t keep two minutes, I had to delete 58 minutes.

What I want to be doing….

Sixteen hours later, I called in the cavalry.

After crying to my daughters about the literal pain of technology (my headache was now slicing a rivulet through my cortex which met the pain searing down my neck and shoulders) they told me I was stupid. “Call your brother.  He does this for a living. He’s supposed to help you.” Which he did,  in no time. But I’m still taking credit for scrapping 58 minutes of unusable footage.

If I haven’t lost my mind by the end of this week, I’m sure I will live an earthly existence with all my marbles and some of other people’s marbles, too because I will know how to code them into my DNA.

I have not had one drink since I started because I have to create and finish a PowerPoint presentation for a client before I go to the Kentucky Derby.  If you watch the Kentucky Derby on TV, look for the red hat laying on the ground, I’ll be under it with a smile on my face and a mint julep in my hand returning to middle age with a big swig of gratitude.

Here’s the link if you want to see where all this has taken me…go ahead, you can be honest. In fact, send me an email from the “Contact” box, at least I’ll know it it’s working! You can’t say anything I haven’t already said to myself every single day.

“You Just have to Laugh…..”

©2017 Cathy Sikorski

14 thoughts on “The Fountain of Youth Sucks

  1. I completely understand. I teach children everyday but apparently that is secondary to my ability to build a web site, maintain a podcast and host a TED talk. The human bit seems unimportant these days!

  2. Hugs and more hugs to you, as always. You are too busy for me to physically keep up with, phew! You can do absolutely anything you put your mind to, my funny and precious girlfriend. Hate the techie stuff but I know you got this covered too. I have faith in you. xo

    1. MY friends like you, Cathy Squared, who have so much faith in me, keep me going and grounded. God bless you for supporting me even in my craziness!

  3. I love your speaker site! Bravo for hanging in there and creating such a professional site with video no less. I’m excited for you in promoting your speaking career.

    1. Oh, thanks Sherri. Now I know the problem. When you press Start the Conversation, it takes you to the Contact section and you have to press Send. So I can change that button a little bit. Thanks for trying!

  4. I knew what you were going to say at every juncture in your video, but I can imagine that some who watch this will wish it had continued with the rest of your sentences. You look great!

    1. Ooohh, I hope so, Tina. That’s what should be tempting you to get in touch. Thanks for watching.

  5. People like you and I can take comfort in the fact that, among our Baby Boomer peers, we are considered technological geniuses. 😉

    To people older than we are, we are traitors who are contributing to the disappearance of personal communication.

    Younger people look at us and automatically assume that we are completely ignorant when it comes to computers.

    The truth is in there somewhere, I guess.

    1. Definitely, Kathy, we are somewhere in between. My youngest says, “but Mom, that’s ‘learning!’.

  6. Yes, we did have a good laugh! Glad I got your book, too…BIG help.
    Cheers, =^..^=

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