I am a caregiver who tries to take care of herself.
Sometimes it goes haywire: A Girl’s gotta’ take care of herself, for example. Other times……
This morning I put much effort into grooming. It is the weekend. I have been way too helpful to others and wanted to put my best foot forward for weekend activities. The shower was hot and steamy, I got out the high end shampoo and conditioner, used the pretty smelly body wash instead of the manly anti-bacterial soap, and set down the path of shaving.
Sometimes I use the cheap disposable razors, but today I put a new blade in the new Venus razor. All you gals out there know this is the high end, expensive disposable blade razor.
Lately, I’ve been suffering from a sore neck. So looking side ways into my armpits has been a challenge. I guess the hot shower eased up the stiff neck because when I looked left and right it seemed like King Kong’s cousin had moved in under my armpits.
Well, this would not do.
I took that sharp, Lady Venus tool to the task and waited for the beauty of each stroke to clear away the debris.
Nothing happened. Nothing.
I scraped and shaved and swore, knowing that one of those things would definitely work.
Now I’m pissed. I spent good money on that high end appliance. If it’s named Venus, it should make me look like a goddess. It should be so sharp, I’m worried about losing my arms, not just my armpit hair.
Ugh. And how am I going to tackle my legs?
I try another blade. Same result. Of course I’m the one who got the defective pack of blades, because I always have boatloads of time to return things.
I don’t know why, but I think that if I just stare at this razor long enough, it will do what I want. Like the look I used to give my kids when they were little.
So finally, I just decide even though that blade snaps in tightly and perfectly, could it be in upside down?
Oh what the hell. I snap it out and try to turn it around, knowing full well this is stupid since it would only snap in one way. Now the shower is getting cold because I’ve been conducting experiments.
Damn! That sucker turned around and in one swoop worked like a Hoover. Only cut myself three times. But I find Sponge Bob Squarepants bandaids very sexy on weekends.
You just have to Laugh…..