Tag Archives: Elderly

With Facebook Friends like this…Who Needs Enemies?

Two years ago, my Mom called me, practically in tears.

“Roberta was so mean to me,” she said.

I’m thinking, “who the hell is Roberta?”.

“She’s from my medical insurance carrier. I called to ask her why a bill wasn’t paid and she said I should never have been given this insurance and I’m going to have to pay back every penny from the last 15 years.”

“And,” she went on with a worried tone, “you told me to NEVER pay a medical bill. So I don’t know what to do.”

“Calm down, Mom. We will get this worked out. It will be okay.”

My first reaction was this:

I did tell my Mom never to pay a medical bill because her insurance covers everything.

My mom has Tricare For Life Medical Insurance. This insurance is for Veterans and their families, spouses, widows, children. My Dad died in a helicopter crash as an Army pilot on October 10, 1961. My mother had five children all under the age of 10 and was pregnant with her sixth child. So I kind of think my Mom is entitled to this insurance.

The thing is, Mom never claimed this insurance until my step-father passed away in 1998. She didn’t even ask for it. She already had Medicare and AARP. But when she applied for her widow’s the Veteran’s Administration made her jump through all kinds of hoops with documentation and then GAVE her this insurance.

My mom is a Virgo.

Why does that matter? She has kept every single piece of paper that has ever come into her life. So she has every piece of documentation that transpired fifteen years ago with the Veteran’s Administration. The VA put her on the wrong insurance.

So two years ago, they began threatening an 87-year-old widow, who raised her family of six children without a father, a man never even made it to 30 years old, that she would be thousands of dollars in debt to them because of their mistake.

After talking to seven different people at seven different government administrative places which most people never even heard of, we refiled all the documentation from 15 years ago.

I wrote much of this post two years ago.  And much of the problem has been resolved after mountains of paperwork and dozens of phone calls…one that occurred while I was drinking in Times Square. Hey, if they call, you answer, because they may never call back.

I said this two years ago, probably after the drinking incident in Times Square:

 I know from the last 25 years of caregiving and jumping through administrative hoops that this story will not have an easy ending. There’s going to be reams of paperwork. There will likely be boatloads of nastiness. There may be a lawsuit. But in my best, Scarlett O’Hara voice: “As God is my witness….my mother will never pay one dime to fix this problem.”

There’s one small problem that persists. The government agencies just can’t agree and  are trying to collect $687 from my sweet ol’ mom that they think they are owed from overpayments. I still have people in all these agencies working on it and I have not yet caved to paying money to make it go away, but still…..I am amused by the latest missive from one of the insurers trying to collect funds:

Fun things to do while fighting with Insurance
Like us On Facebook……Indeed.

Hmmmm…..I’m struggling with that friend request.

©Cathy Sikorski 2018

 

Brussels Sprouts or Sidney Poitier?

In honor of Aunt Jean who passed away a year ago today:

Aunt Jean and two other great beauties.
Aunt Jean and two other great beauties.

Aunt Jean was an Australian blonde beauty who married my husband’s uncle in 1945. During World War II, Uncle Mike was stationed in Australia. He met Jeannie at a dance contest,  won the contest and her heart. At 18 years old, she moved to New Jersey without knowing a soul, moved in with my husband’s family and stayed here mostly, for the rest of her life.

Jeannie worked in New York City.  She had copious stories about all the famous and infamous people she met, more by accident than on purpose, which may be one of the greatest gifts most of us are missing by not listening to the tales of the elderly.

Her friend Mae was a live-in housekeeper in a high-fallootin’ building on the Upper East Side. When Mae’s employer went out of town, she was allowed to have her own guests over for dinner. So Jeannie and her friend Ellie got all dressed up just to go in the fancy building and up the elevator to Mae’s apartment.

Now the point of this story from Aunt Jean’s perspective was, as I was making dinner, she wanted to tell me how great her Irish buddy, Mae, concocted Brussels sprouts, so I could do the same. Something to do with sautéing them in onions and butter and bacon. But this is how she got to the Brussels sprouts recipe.

“So we were in the elevator going up to the penthouse and in walks a very handsome black man. My friend, Ellie is pulling at my sleeve and gesturing to me that this is someone I’m supposed to recognize. She’s rolling her eyes and trying to be cool, while the gentlemen is politely staring straight ahead. Finally, it hits me and I say:

“Excuse me Mr. Poitier, it’s so nice to meet you. Do you live in this building?”

“Why yes, I do. Do you?”

“No,” I say, “we are just visiting friends.” I said it like we weren’t visiting the housekeeper, of course.

“Well, that’s nice. And what is your name?”

“My name is Jean and this is my friend, Ellie.”

With that the elevator door opens for Mr. Poitier’s floor and as he gets off he says, “So very nice to meet you, Jean and Ellie. Have a lovely evening.”

“AUNT JEAN!” I said, “you met , Sidney Poitier????? You never told me that.”

“Oh, yes lovey that was fun, but let me tell you about the Brussels Sprouts, I’ve never had any so delicious.”

We miss you Aunt Jean, because whenever you were around….

“We just had to Laugh……”

©2014Cathy Sikorski

 

https://www.etsy.com/shop/Lydiasdrawingboard

What if it IS always Sunny?

https://www.etsy.com/shop/Lydiasdrawingboard
Lydia’s Drawing Board

I love the show CBS Sunday Morning. And every time I watch it, I think of my Aunt Jean. When she would visit from Australia, we would usually watch it together and in spite of her serious macular degeneration, which made her practically blind, and her hearing loss in both ears, which the use of hearing aids only caused constant beeping and buzzing throughout the house that she couldn’t hear, we were somehow able to converse about each story just a little bit.

I was always beguiled by her insight and questioning in light of the ‘skips’ in information that had to occur with each tale from Charles Osgood. But there was one segment every single Sunday where Charles would tell you what interesting stories were coming up in the week ahead. Like, Monday there will be an important decision from the Supreme Court, Tuesday is national Ice Cream day (YAY), Wednesday is the Kennedy Center Awards, things like that. And that segment would have a fake calendar with sunbursts, which is the theme of Sunday Morning.  

https://www.facebook.com/LydiasDrawingBoardhttps://www.facebook.com/LydiasDrawingBoardhttps://www.facebook.com/LydiasDrawingBoardhttps://www.facebook.com/LydiasDrawingBoardhttps://www.facebook.com/LydiasDrawingBoardhttps://www.facebook.com/LydiasDrawingBoard

 

And every Sunday, she would say to me, “Oh look we’re going to have beautiful weather this week. It’s going to be sunny every single day!” And I, every Sunday, would say:

“NO, AUNT JEAN, THAT’S JUST THE CALENDAR ABOUT STORIES!”

And she would be intent on the TV and not even look my way. And then she would turn to me and say:

“Well, we can go shopping and out to lunch with your mother, and go visit Marie. It will be lovely!”

And I would still be saying, “No, no, no….that’s not what it means…..”

I don’t think I ever once let it go.

So on what would have been her 91st birthday to a lovely, sunshiney woman who was my Aussie Mom…..and on Mother’s Day. I’m letting it go.

Every day is sunshine. What a great attitude.

Happy Birthday, Aunt Jean. And Happy Mother’s Day to my amazing Mom, Mary Ann, the spirit of my beloved mother-in-law, Marie and every other caregiver who gives the love of a Mom every day. Hope your smiling and laughing today.

You just have to Laugh

Cathy Sikorski

P.S. Thanks to Lydiasdrawingboard for the amazing artwork!