Have you ever had the experience as a caregiver (or even a co-worker) where you’ve been taking care of someone and they are clearly forgetting things and allowing you to have all the responsibility and power? Basically, they are done. They don’t want to engage in any way that is challenging or difficult. And okay, fine. You deal. And then this happens:
“You are going home tomorrow from the nursing home to your own apartment,” you say to your brother-in-law, with every so much enthusiasm because he has been waiting for this day for 5 months.
“I know, but I thought I was going home Tuesday.”
“Umm…you are….tomorrow is Tuesday.”
“Oh, yea.” Caregivee laughs at his own silliness. Then he says, “and it’s time to sign up for Medicare, right? It’s open enrollment. And we were going to look at all the options to make sure I had the best plan. Did you do that yet?”
This is where I go through these thoughts:
I want to kill you.
Who are you and where is my brother-in-law?
When in the last 7 years have you even said the words, “open enrollment.”
I take a deep, cleansing breath, and say ,”sure, we can work on that when you get home.”
“Because your sister and her husband worked the same place I did and they are on the same retirement insurance. He had a heart transplant, so he’s no healthier than me, ” says the guy who refused to do his physical therapy just so he can hold a cup without spilling it.
Sometimes I want to run away from home.
No worries. I will read the 500 page booklets from Medicare and your employer retiree plan and we will end up doing the same thing we have done for the last three years because the plans in your retirement only have one option with unlimited lifetime benefits. And you’ve probably used over a million dollars already. And your young, very young. Sick, but young. That’s what I think, but what I say is:
“Okay we will go over that, we have a few weeks yet.”
“Okay, just wanted to make sure you were on top of it. Now did I have lunch yet? Why is that picture on the wall crooked? I don’t think anyone changed the clock to daylight savings time?”
You just have to Laugh…..”
©Cathy Sikorski 2014
This woman, a long-time caregiver to many, has THE BEST attitude. I don’t know how she does it. But I subscribe to her posts because they are inspiring. This one ……. relatable.
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Oh Kathleen, thank you so very, very much. You are the reason I can keep going. When my readers relate and understand, it just makes each day a bit better. Thanks so much for reading and commenting. Have a great weekend
The picture of the booklet is really the icing on the cake!! Ay Carumba!
So fun reading Medicare manuals…you Europeans have no idea what you’re missing!
Cathy you amaze me!!!!!!!!!!! smiles!!!!! Patient you do have.and more…love your writing smiles!!!! they make me laugh as well give me a look at what a caregiver goes threw…
I’m much more patient on paper than in my mind, or even reality! Thanks for laughing 🙂
Great job capturing what many caregivers experience. But, with a bit more humor as always.
Humor and patience is what usually saves a caregiver on any given day, right? Thanks as always for reading and commenting, Janet.
You are very welcome. Your posts are entreating and informative.
Funny, and soooo true. Go to dorothysday.wordpress.com Plz Let me know what u think
Went to your link..keep up the good work and thanks for reading and following!
I never knew how fun it is to voice my opinions! Having the time of my life. Tks
Perhaps the caregiver is suffering from some polar vortex brain freeze, as you had a similar conversation with your significant other this morning. What’s mind numbing, is that in almost 30 years, unless prompted, you have never once asked about health care program renewal.
I guess the patient is beginning to rub off on the caregiver…you just have to laugh.
Oh to my ever present and ever faithful, Tonto…stop watching me so closely, we must have some secrets!