Every time I think I’m out…..

The holiday season does not have an internal compass that allows you to treat every day like a holiday. In fact, I’m pretty sure that MORE, not less disasters happen during the holiday season, just as a karmic reminder that in life, there is no holiday. But a few days off can really re-charge the batteries, if you’re lucky.

I am so sleep deprived, it’s like being the mother of an infant all over again. But I have no baby to blame it on. Menopause, hot flashes, holidays, alcohol, too much food, not enough gym,those are the culprits….oh yeah, and shoulder pain, back pain, and general pain-in-the-ass middle age. That doesn’t help either.

So every time I THINK, “tonight is the night” for sleep (which I’m sure is not the same thing my husband is thinking when he’s thinking, ‘tonight is the night’), I am reminded that no caregiver is ever in her right mind.

The first time I thought this was the day after Christmas. Yay, all the hoopla is over! I can just sleep in. Everyone is well, we are all snug in our beds, no more planning, wrapping, shopping, just the blessed day of rest.

The phone rings at 7:30 AM.

“Hello?”

“Hi Cathy, this is your cousin. My Dad is in the hospital and is having surgery today and he needs to see you.”

“Umm (this because I have 25 cousins and am not sure who woke me out of an ACTUAL sleep). Okay.”

“He’s in ICU, so you have to call and ask the nurse to give him the phone or they will call you back.”

“No, I will go to the hospital, no problem.”

This uncle is my godfather, and I love him dearly. He’s a bit of a Duck Dynasty gun dealer, but I love him anyway.

So I haul myself out of bed at 7:35 AM and go to the hospital. There’s a moratorium on who can see him, ’cause his Duck Dynasty pals can be a bit overbearing. So I tell the squawk box:

“I’m here to see Mr. R, I’m his lawyer and his niece.”

Immediate entrée. I pull this lawyer card when I just don’t have time to deal with any crap. Little do I know this will come back to haunt me. I get to his room and my cousin is there with him.

“Cathy’s here now Dad, do you want to have a private conversation with her?”

“No,”says my Uncle, who is looking pretty good for a guy going into surgery, “I just wanted the hospital and everyone around here to know I have a ‘mouthpiece’ so they better watch out.

Really? I dragged my tired sorry behind out of bed the day after Christmas, so my uncle could have his lawyer as a show piece in the  ICU???? Where am I, ‘The Godfather???’ Oh, yeah, that is EXACTLY where I am.

You just have to Laugh…..

Cathy Sikorski

0 thoughts on “Every time I think I’m out…..

  1. I love these stories – they are so funny. Sorry you need to go through all this crap just to make me laugh!

  2. EXCELLENT WORK!! I keep forgetting the Menopause ..I have been texting with Brent today I forgot how much I love him..I’m praying your phone won’t ring tonight.XXXX

    Sent via the Samsung Galaxy S™ III, an AT&T 4G LTE smartphone

  3. I learned a long time ago, and many times over again in my life, that God gave some of us a big mouth and the courage to use it for a reason……it’s not a mistake or a weakness that should be quieted for “political correctness.” It’s a tool to use for others whose voice can’t be heard for a variety of reasons, and it gives God glory when used like this. God Bless You!